Clowns...ew!

I love scary movies. Ever since I was a little kid and would beg to stay up late to watch Creature Features, I have been a fan of good horror movies. Or, for that matter, I am also a fan of bad horror movies. I mean, face it, there are only about 4 - 5 plots to any horror movie you can think of with only the slightest variations.

There's the "family moves into a new home and find their not alone" plot. This, of course, covers everything from The Amityville Horror, Poltergeist, Ghosts, 13 Ghosts, The Grudge and even the classic, The Shining (interchange the hotel for the house and you got it! There's also the "group of friends gets together at some remote site". Of course, they all (or most) end up dead by either a local crazed killer or killers or one of them goes over the edge/gets possessed/was already crazy and kills them all. This is only slightly different from the "group of students are enlisted by a professor of the occult to spend the weekend in a mystery house/mansion/hotel". That last plot tries to lump the best of the previous two together but rarely hits the mark. Unless you are the great film from the '60s (I think) called "The Haunting of Hill House" (sometimes also called "The Haunting"). Shot in black and white, special effects are limited to only sound and one breathing door and it's one movie that to this day I will NOT pass up. Another usual plot is anything that has demon possession in it, either to an adult or child. Demon possessed children are much scarier. Think of Linda Blair and you get my drift. Another type of demon possessed movie worth note is The Ring and Insidious. I count Paranormal Activity 1 and 2 in this bunch too. Both movies scare me senseless and I love it.

There is, however, one thing in life and in the movies that scares me more than any of the stuff I've seen in the horror movies I so dearly love. That would be clowns. I see no reason for clowns to exist. They are not funny, or heart warming, or precious. They are creepy old men in frightening make up acting like their children in big shoes and rubber noses. I hate them. I even count the two most beloved clowns among them - Bozo and Ronald McDonald. Even when I was a kid and watched the Bozo Show, and don't get me wrong, I liked the Bozo Show in spite of the clowns, I couldn't help thinking that those guys were all a bunch of soused idiots that probably smelled bad in real life. I knew kids who's parents got the tickets to the Bozo Show and I was forever grateful my own parents never did. What a frightening way to spend a day! As a grew older and really saw Bozo and his friends I could see the weird make up running into his hair line and the red rim around his eyes. SCARY!!! Ronald McDonald is not much better. Freaky red haired weirdo that scares the snot out of me when I see him.

So give me your demons, ghosts and things that go bump in the night and I'll take them on and love 'em! Throw a clown into the mix and you're on your own! I wonder if I started a petition to ban clowns worldwide if anyone would take me up on it!?