Last Wednesday I had a mammogram.
I have been a slacker when it comes to getting a regular mammogram and I know it. It had been a few years since my last one and being a woman of a certain age (and one who's sister is undergoing treatment for breast cancer right now) I should know better! So I scolded myself and off I went.
Getting a mammo is not the most pleasant experience in the world. I mean, I know, as far as other tests women have to go through (the PAP smear comes to mind), a mammo is far less invasive yet still invasive enough to be uncomfortable. The Breast Imaging Center, here in Kenosha, WI, does a very good job at trying to make it as comfortable as possible. They have a separate waiting room from the rest of the radiology department so you don't have to sit there with a lot of people. They warm the robes they make you wear in a nice warming container. And the robes are ROBES and not skimpy hospital gowns. The waiting room is comfortable with over sized arm chairs and soft music. The lights are kept low. It's almost foreplay for what's to come!
When my name is called I follow the nice lady into another room where, lights still low, she quietly and pleasantly tells me how this will proceed. Then I step up to the machine and drop one shoulder out of the robe. This is the invasive part. This nice but complete stranger then maneuvers my boob onto a metal slab as I stand in front of the machine. She then says, "This might pinch!" as she lowers a clear plastic plate over my breast. Then she cranks that sucker until it has squished my booby to within an inch of it's life. She does a side view like this too and then we move on to the left boob. FUN!
After that she tells me they will call me if there is any problem but "there probably won't be so if you don't get a call, everything is fine!" And I leave.
ON Thursday I was working at my desk and the phone rang. It was the Breast Imaging Center. The radiologist who looked at my mammo thinks he saw something but can't be sure so could I please come in as soon as possible to have a "diagnostic mammo" and possibly an ultrasound.
WHAT??? My mind started spinning. Surely, if there was nothing to worry about I would not be getting something called a "diagnostic" or an ultrasound, for that matter. This could not be good. I spent a very sleepless night.
The next day I went in and had the diagnostic done. This time, it was the same machine but the clear plastic plate was much smaller and they only did one small section of my left boob. The tech was pleasant and did her best to assure me that it might be nothing at all. Just a precaution. But she showed me my last mammo pics and the area of concern. She said, "Doctor, sees this cluster of unusual cells here so he wants to be sure." Unusual cells, I think. I have "unusual" cells in my breast. That can't be good either. She then takes the latest mammo pics off to the doc. I'll get instant results, she tells me, so I won't worry all weekend. How kind.
I'm left in this room with the low lights and the big mammo machine for the longest time. Too long. It was so long that I was sure something horrible was about to come my way. This should not be taking this long, I thought. Again, cannot be good!! Finally, she returned. "Well," she says, "he's fairly sure it's nothing but would like you to have the ultrasound to confirm it. "
At this point, I stopped believing her. "Fairly sure it's nothing..." Seriously? You're either sure or you're not sure so which is it.
I'm rerobed and sent back to the waiting area. After a few minutes another tech comes to get me and we go to another room. This time there is a bed next to which is an ultrasound machine. I've had an ultrasound before on two occasions. One on my knee when I was having horrible pain in the back of my knee. They used this type of machine with a little egg shaped deelybobber that took pictures. The other time was a pelvic ultrasound where they used the same machine but instead of an egg they used what looked like a small baseball bat which they lathered with gel and asked me to "insert" inside myself....NOT fun! Anyway, this was the egg thing.
I laid on the bed and she unrobed the offending booby. She lathered the gel on and proceeded to rub it all over the boob while stopping to take pictures of different areas of interest. Even though it didn't hurt, none of the tests did, the idea of someone manipulating, moving, touching my boob and squishing it flat is just not pleasant. And it did pinch. Ah, but the ultrasound did not hurt though it was awkward.
So, then she leaves and says "Doctor, will see these right away!" and I'm left to sit there, in the dim light, all alone. Again, for what seemed like FOREVER! At this point I am convinced the doctor is gearing up to have "the talk" with me. The one where I hear that I have breast cancer and that I have options for treatment and here is a list of oncologists to try. I was readying myself for this when the door opened and the doc walked in.
He said...
"Well, I've got good news! You are perfectly normal! All we're seeing is normal breast tissue!"
Relief...and the knowledge that I knew this all along and my mind was just playing tricks on me.
I know I'm not the first woman to do through this nor with I be the last. I have since heard of other women who get called back again and again. Still, it's not easy to just "not know" for sure what's going on and even though they all were very kind and reassuring it is not a pleasant test to go through. But it is an important test to go through. So, I will. Every year - like clock work.
My doctor also wants me to get a colonoscopy. Yeah...I'm still thinking about that one!
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