Three people I will never forget...

When you stop to think about your life, you have to remember those people who somehow influenced, good or bad, and helped make you the person you are today. When I think of my life I can remember many influential people. Some were influential for what they taught me, some for how they lived their lives, and some just for being who they were. I'm going to talk about three of those people today. Three people that somehow touched me and I will never forget them.

Uncle Bill Whelan -
My Uncle Bill Whelan was my Auntie Hazel's second husband. I was pretty young when we would go see them at their home in Waukon, Iowa. Now, my Auntie Hazel was something out of a Better Homes and Gardens Magazine circa 1955. She always wore a pretty cotton house dress with an ever present apron. She had eye glasses that she must have gotten in the mid-50's and just kept from that moment on. They were dark brimmed with a slight cat eye. She was always  cooking in the kitchen when we visited. A kind soul, soft spoken and very sweet. Uncle Bill was even quieter. He was a short roly poly balding man who always seemed a little grey in every way. He would smile at Auntie Hazel as if the sun rose and set in her very presence. I recall one summer, on our annual trip to see them, that his eye sight had gotten very bad. He was going blind and it was hard to watch him enter a room, unaware anyone was there, and flip the light switch on and off and on again in the hopes that he would suddenly see better with the light on. That summer was hot and my cousins were no where to be found. I don't quite remember where they were but I was a little bored and a whole lot hot. My Dad, Mom, Auntie Hazel and Uncle Bill's daughter Julie were all playing cards. Uncle Bill couldn't see well enough to play. I lazily wandered out to the front porch and sat, bored, on the porch swing. A short while later the creaky screen door opened and Uncle Bill came out and sat next to me. He had two large glasses of ice cold lemonade. The good homemade kind with real lemons. We sat quietly swinging for a while and then he said, "A little boring here, isn't it?" I agreed. Uncle Bill took my hand and led me to his car. Yes, even though he was legally blind he was still driving! No kidding! There was only one place he drove to anymore and there was absolutely no traffic on the lonely country roads he took. He was driving me to his farm! Uncle Bill had a farm house and a barn and a bit of land not far outside of Waukon. It was in a pretty isolated area so there really were no other cars on the road. He rented the farm house out to a family who looked after his animals there. When we got there we went into the barn and he started to saddle a beautiful pale horse. Even though he couldn't see much anymore, he instinctively knew how to do this. I got to ride that horse all afternoon while Uncle Bill waited in the shade of a nearby tree. He didn't care how long I road and I was never happier! That was the highlight of my trip! When we got back to Aunt Hazel's a few hours later, my Mom and Dad were frantic! They knew Uncle Bill could barely see two feet in front of him yet he had driven me at least 15 miles to the farm! Aunt Hazel poo-pooed the whole ordeal claiming, "Oh everyone knows to get out of his way if they see him coming!" I'll never forget my Uncle Bill for recognizing a little kid's boredom and making it a day to remember!

2. Mr. Freeman -
From the time I was born until I was about 10, we lived above my parents bar and restaurant, Kelly's Tavern. Right next door there was a small auto garage run by an African American man named Mr. Freeman. To get to my best friend Janet's house I had to pass his place every day and very soon I took to stopping in to say hello. This was in the late 60s so a little white girl and a grown black man were unlikely friends. But we were. Every time I stopped in his shop, he would stop what he was doing and chat with me. I could tell him anything and ask him his opinion on anything. Things like "what do you think about a mom and dad that won't get their daughter a new Barbie" and "if you wanted to go to Paddock Lake with the neighbors but you knew you had chores what would you do?" Mr. Freeman was a font of knowledge and advice to me. Somedays, I would take two bottles of Coke from the bar and take them to Mr. Freeman's. He would open the bag lunch his wife made him and share half with me and I would give him a Coke and we would talk and talk. He never made me feel like I was intruding or like I was a kid! One day his son came in. He was in his 20's and was, what you might call, a "militant" black youth. He looked at me with a cold stare and started yelling at his father about "white honkies" and "little white bitch". I assumed he meant me and it scared me. Mr. Freeman got very loud and told his son to leave. After he was gone, I sat very quietly for a while. Mr. Freeman told me that in his lifetime there have always been people who hated him because of the color of his skin. He said that was very wrong and that everyone should be able to be friendly and get along. He said he never wanted me to be afraid of anyone because of their skin color and he hoped that I would always have friends who were different than me. Then he added, "Just like me!" Mr. Freeman walked me next door to the bar where my dad was working. He told my dad what had happened and how scared I was. I watched as my dad and Mr. Freeman shook hands. Then, when he was leaving, he gave me a hug and said, "See you tomorrow! I think we're having my wife's meat loaf for lunch." Mr. Freeman was the first person of color I had ever known and his kindness and readiness to spend time with a little white girl taught me a huge lesson in love, tolerance and acceptance. He's the reason that, to this day, I am appalled at racism and hatred that still exists in this country. Life's way to short to pass by the opportunity to have a dear friend like Mr. Freeman just because of the color of his skin. And I hope that somewhere his son learned this lesson too.

3. Lee VanDyke -
Years later, I attended the University of Wisconsin - Parkside. I was majoring in Communications with an emphasis on Theatre Arts. I was acting. I auditioned for every show from the moment I started my college years. During my last two years there, a teacher/director named Lee VanDyke was hired. Lee saw in  me aspects that I didn't even know I had. He cast me in roles that challenged me and he made me a better actress. During the summer months, he would direct a short season of summer plays. I auditioned for those too and got cast in those as well.  It was during the run of one of these summer seasons that my dad passed away. His passing was not a surprise. He had been ill will leukemia for some time. We had just finished the first weekend of shows and had a pick up rehearsal on that following Thursday. The morning of that rehearsal my Dad passed away and I was devastated. No matter how well prepared you think you are, when you're dad passes, you realize nothing can ever really prepare you for it. I called Lee and told him. He said he would leave it up to me but if I didn't make rehearsal that night it was okay and perfectly understandable. I just couldn't do it so I skipped the rehearsal but I knew I could not skip the show. The cast and crew were counting on me as were the people who had already purchases tickets. As they always say, "The show must go on." That Friday night I showed up to get in costume and make up. I was running on fumes, numb and not really sure what I was doing. I was putting on a brave front but inside I was screaming. Before the show, Lee came to me and took me aside. He pressed a note into my hand. It said that he knew my Dad would be proud of me as he often saw the look of pride on his face when my Dad came to see me act. He also said that he was proud of me and that even though no words would ever take away the hurt I was feeling inside, he knew that I would go on and be strong and be great. And I did. I went out on that stage and before I knew it the show was over. I mean I seriously did not have a single memory of a minute on that stage. But at the curtain call, the audience erupted in loud applause and everyone stood for a standing ovation! It was the first time that ever happened and I was amazed! I had done the best performance of my college career and it was at a time that I couldn't feel much more than sorrow. I've kept that note from Lee. And I still have contact with him on Facebook. He is a very special person, a mentor, a teacher, and a friend who took a scared, sad girl and challenged her to become everything she could be. I will never forget his kindness, his humor and his smarts. He had a great influence on my life.

So there they are. Three people whom I will never forget. I'm sure there are so many more! I thank all of the great influences in my life and hope that I have, in some small way, influenced someone else in their life too.