Love in a time of chaos...

So life has given me and my family some big friggan' lemons lately. We're dealing with it. My sister's news about her cancer just gets worse with each test. She has Stage 4 and that's not good at all. Not that any stage of cancer is good but stage 4 is particularly bad. I've banned myself from Googling it for more information because all the information I've Googled thus far has just made it worse. But we'll get through this no matter the outcome. It will be a journey for sure and one that will have some real lows but we'll get by.

Through all of this Alex has been my rock. There's not much he can say, of course, to make me feel any better or calmer but his listening speaks volumes. Yes, it would be easier if he was here with me now but that can't be so this is what we have. And for now, it's enough. I can always count on him when I am racing and my mind is taking me to dark places to just listen and be calm and get it out of my system and eventually make me laugh. That's what love is. All these miles between us and we are closer than ever. We wrote a song together called "Closer" a couple of years ago and I don't think I really knew what it meant until just now.

Somehow, in light of the big picture, the work picture seems all so trivial now. All that stress and nonsense I was going through and still am going through at work just doesn't seem to have the same bite it did before. When it does get tedious at work I find myself sort of looking on as if I'm watching it in a movie and thinking "Wow...this is surreal!" and it goes away. Maybe that's a life lesson for me. There are way more important things to worry about then a job. A job is a necessity for sure but it's not a life and, at the end of the day, it is something you CAN move on from if you have to.

Just a side note...I've always known animals have a way of sensing when you're down but my cats have shown themselves to be seriously psychic or something. The other day I was sitting on the couch having a "moment" and both of them got on my lap at once which they never do. They laid there looking up at me and, occasionally, Brig would reach up a fuzzy paw to pat me consolingly on the cheek. They had very concerned looks on their little fur faces. I just had to laugh!