If it ain't one thing, it's another....

I used to watch Doogie Houser back in the day. I used to think that having a computer diary was the shit and I wanted one. Later, I watched Sex in the City and I used to think that sitting and writing interesting thoughts in clever ways was the shit. So, now I have this blog...




I'm sitting here thinking about what clever things I could write about. Trying to get inspired by life to put my unique spin on things. But all I can think of right now is that my toilet doesn't work. It seems mundane and stupid and not worth writing about but think about it...a toilet is a pretty necessary thing to have and one in working order is even better.

I live in a very old house but what it lacks in amenities it makes up for in location. It's drafty, the windows don't seal correctly, it rattles, the electric stuff is all screwed up. I can't have the refrigerator plugged in if I make toast or coffee. I can't run a fan and an air conditioner at the same time. So, it stands to reason that the plumbing in this place would also be as old as the hills. It started this morning because, of course, I was running late this morning so why wouldn't the john get all bunged up on a day when I had no time to adequately address the issue. I plunged and plunged and plunged and finally just closed the bathroom door and left for work. Out of sight, out of mind. I forgot about it. Bad idea. When I got home later the water had all gone down which gave me that fleeting hopeful feeling that the toilet fairies had come and all was well. So, with the gleam of hope in my eye I dared to flush it again. Bad idea. I watched as the water rose...and kept rising. I had a flashback to the movie Titanic - the scene where Jack is watching the water rise to his feet as he is shackled in the brig. I plunged furiously. My plunger in itself is a sight...it's sort of half a plunger really. Part of it is missing. Which may be why is didn't work. Turns out the friggan' toilet fairies had not come to my rescue and my toilet is still not working.

If I was Doogie Houser, it's at this point, that I would somehow equate this experience with some enlightening lesson learned. If I was Carrie Bradshaw, I would now show you how this whole experience is a metaphor for relationships between men and women. Since I'm neither, I'll have to get bundled up, go out in the cold, and drive to the nearest gas station so I can pee.