Last night I kicked back and watched some movies that I'd been wanting to see for various reasons. Here are my reviews...
The Watch - Okay, one question - how can a film that has Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill not be funny? I mean, it's supposed to be funny. They meant for it to be funny. This film is not funny. Not in the least. I can't even think of one tiny little part that made me chuckle, even a little. The story could have been a good one. Four doofuses come together to start a neighborhood watch and fight crime in their neighborhood. But it takes a turn when aliens become involved, and there's an orgy, and peeing in beer can, and a side story about Vaughn's daughter and it all just goes to hell really quickly. Pass this stinker up. Even if it's on TBS at 3am.
TED - Okay, this is another movie that I have heard people raving about so I had very high expectations for this one. Seth McFarlane, he of many voices who is sometimes funny, is at the helm of this one and he is the voice of Ted, a teddy bear who comes to life when the boy who loves him makes a magic wish. Fast forward to the boy and the bear as adults and they are pot smoking, beer guzzling lovable losers who are struggling to figure out how an adult can have a teddy bear as a best friend and still be a responsible adult. Mark Wahlberg does a decent job as the grown up boy, mostly because he always has that "who me?" look on his face. I have to admit there were some funny parts in this film and it wasn't a total loss. All in all, TED was worth the rental fee.
Premium Rush - I'm going to go on the record and tell you that I am a huge Joseph Gordon Levitt fan. My husband and friends call him my "celebrity crush" and I guess their right. I will not let that slant my review of this movie. Premium Rush is about a bike messenger who is given a delivery in New York that has to be to Chinatown by 7pm. He has no idea what this small envelope contains but almost as soon as he picks it up there's trouble. Seems many people, especially a bad NY detective, want that envelope. There are many exciting chase scenes in this film. Bikes are flying through traffic at break neck speed and it did get my heart pumping to watch it. The story is good and the acting was even better but the director does this thing about jumping back and forth between times in the day to set up the whole story that it just becomes annoying. After a while I just wanted to see what happened and wasn't giving a damn about the whole set up. The ending, with Gordon-Levitt making the delivery with the aid of about a thousand messenger buddies, was handled pretty well and wasn't melodramatic. Overall, I enjoyed this film. Story was good and the pace was exciting except for the constant back and forth between times. Well worth watching though.
So that's what I did with my Friday night. I like having those nights when I can sit back and watch a slew of movies, one right after the other. A good way to spend an evening!
Showing posts with label action. Show all posts
Showing posts with label action. Show all posts
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Movie Review: The Expendables
So, last night, Alex and I went to see The Expendables. If you haven't seen the trailer, it is a film written by Sylvester Stallone, starring Sylvester Stallone and a host of other larger than life characters, primarily Jet Li, Steve Austen, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren and Eric Roberts. Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger also show up in this movie.
To say the dialogue is hackneyed is an understatement but who goes to a Stallone film for the riveting dialogue. The acting is laughable but then who cares when you have the greatest action movie heroes assembled in one movie! Lots of things get "blowed up" real good. And many, many, MANY people get shot. And even more people get their ass kicked repeatedly. The plot, what there is of it, is thin as last weeks soup. But again, lots of things get "blowed up" real good so who cares about the plot.
Okay, here's the plot in a nutshell. Stallone et al are The Expendables, a gang of aging mercenaries that can still kick all kinds of international ass. Mickey Rourke is "Tool" (no kidding, that's his name) who runs the garage/art studio/tattoo place that they all hang out in. He's retired, as he will tell us in a touching monologue filmed in SUPER CLOSE UP! No one should ever film Mickey Rourke in SUPER CLOSE UP but there it is. The group gets hired by Bruce Willis to go to an island called Vilena to kill off some kind of General and a drug lord. I have no idea who played the General but Eric Roberts was the drug lord. So, after a lot of preliminary and mostly unnecessary bruhaha off they go. Oh, in an earlier, inconsequential "job" it is established that Dolph Lundgren is a drug addicted, not to be trusted Expendable. The reason this is important is because he later gets hired to kill Stallone and, well, let's say he fails and later has a chance to redeem himself. Schwarzenegger should have just stayed home and not made his "cameo" as a rival "tough guy" mercenary Willis is also considering hiring for this job. Compared to Willis and Stallone, he looked like a good strong breeze would have knocked him over. I get the joke, why he was in this, but seriously - not good. Let's talk about the line delivery...when the General, who had a very bad Spanish (I think) accent is one of the only people you can understand, you know there are problems! There was so much mumble mouthing through this movie I couldn't begin to tell you what anyone was saying. It's just as well because the few lines I did hear were so laughable! Anyway, lots of stuff gets "blowed up" real good and the good guys prevail and, at the end of the day, as stupid as this movie is, a good time was had by all.
So, my personal favorite moments in this film:
1. Dolph Lundgren - He is just the best crazy person ever. Mostly because he is really a crazy person. And he's Swedish. So, yeah, there's that too.
2. Jet Li - There's one scene where they show Jet Li reacting to what just went on before and he just rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. I got the feeling that he was actually reacting to the realization that he was actually IN this movie at all. I think his agent got a sternly worded voice mail after this one! But he did have the coolest, most EW moment in one fight. Statham is holding down this bad guy and Li round houses and bring his foot down on the guys face and his head snaps back in a most unnatural fashion with a loud CRACK noise. The audience all went EWWWWW!!
3. Mickey Rourke - C'mon, it's Mickey Freaking Rourke!! That man has lived a thousand lives and is still the most intriguing, coolest weirdo on the face of the planet!
Overall, as I said, stupid movie but FUN FUN FUN. It was like a ride at Disney World but without the annoying animatronics. Or the creepy singing children. If you want some fun, don't want anything that will make you think...then this is the one for you!
To say the dialogue is hackneyed is an understatement but who goes to a Stallone film for the riveting dialogue. The acting is laughable but then who cares when you have the greatest action movie heroes assembled in one movie! Lots of things get "blowed up" real good. And many, many, MANY people get shot. And even more people get their ass kicked repeatedly. The plot, what there is of it, is thin as last weeks soup. But again, lots of things get "blowed up" real good so who cares about the plot.
Okay, here's the plot in a nutshell. Stallone et al are The Expendables, a gang of aging mercenaries that can still kick all kinds of international ass. Mickey Rourke is "Tool" (no kidding, that's his name) who runs the garage/art studio/tattoo place that they all hang out in. He's retired, as he will tell us in a touching monologue filmed in SUPER CLOSE UP! No one should ever film Mickey Rourke in SUPER CLOSE UP but there it is. The group gets hired by Bruce Willis to go to an island called Vilena to kill off some kind of General and a drug lord. I have no idea who played the General but Eric Roberts was the drug lord. So, after a lot of preliminary and mostly unnecessary bruhaha off they go. Oh, in an earlier, inconsequential "job" it is established that Dolph Lundgren is a drug addicted, not to be trusted Expendable. The reason this is important is because he later gets hired to kill Stallone and, well, let's say he fails and later has a chance to redeem himself. Schwarzenegger should have just stayed home and not made his "cameo" as a rival "tough guy" mercenary Willis is also considering hiring for this job. Compared to Willis and Stallone, he looked like a good strong breeze would have knocked him over. I get the joke, why he was in this, but seriously - not good. Let's talk about the line delivery...when the General, who had a very bad Spanish (I think) accent is one of the only people you can understand, you know there are problems! There was so much mumble mouthing through this movie I couldn't begin to tell you what anyone was saying. It's just as well because the few lines I did hear were so laughable! Anyway, lots of stuff gets "blowed up" real good and the good guys prevail and, at the end of the day, as stupid as this movie is, a good time was had by all.
So, my personal favorite moments in this film:
1. Dolph Lundgren - He is just the best crazy person ever. Mostly because he is really a crazy person. And he's Swedish. So, yeah, there's that too.
2. Jet Li - There's one scene where they show Jet Li reacting to what just went on before and he just rolls his eyes and sighs heavily. I got the feeling that he was actually reacting to the realization that he was actually IN this movie at all. I think his agent got a sternly worded voice mail after this one! But he did have the coolest, most EW moment in one fight. Statham is holding down this bad guy and Li round houses and bring his foot down on the guys face and his head snaps back in a most unnatural fashion with a loud CRACK noise. The audience all went EWWWWW!!
3. Mickey Rourke - C'mon, it's Mickey Freaking Rourke!! That man has lived a thousand lives and is still the most intriguing, coolest weirdo on the face of the planet!
Overall, as I said, stupid movie but FUN FUN FUN. It was like a ride at Disney World but without the annoying animatronics. Or the creepy singing children. If you want some fun, don't want anything that will make you think...then this is the one for you!
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