What a difference a day makes...

Two doses of antibiotics and I finally got a snuggle from Arnie. He's on the mend.

All's right with the world.

Rest in Peace Sweet Baby Brigitte

I had to have my little Brigitte put to sleep today. She had a stroke last weekend. She seemed to recover somewhat and came back home in just one day. Then she had another stroke. I got the call from the vet today that she was much worse and there was nothing else to be done. I chose to go and be with her in her last moments and I'm glad I did. I could see and hear just how much she was suffering. She quieted down when she saw I was there but she was unable to lift her head or move in any way. I petted her and spoke to her as the vet gave her the injection. She just quieted down, closed her little eyes and slept. And she was gone.

Though I only had her with me a short time, I loved her immensely and will miss her forever.

Sleep well, my little furry angel.

Sometimes it's just like that...

I had a helluva weekend. Mine started at about 11am on Thursday. I was at work and started to feel really, really sick and felt myself getting sicker by the minute. My throat was swelling and my sinuses were blocking and I was getting dizzy. I went home to bed! Some Tylenol and salt water gargle were just the thing but for the next three days I was miserable.

If that wasn't enough, my little Brigitte cat had not been acting herself all week. She was hiding alot and hissing at Arnie which she never does. Then over the weekend she had some kind of episode that scared me. She lurch back, made this horrible guttural noise and her eyes rolled back in her head. She was like that for about 5 minutes and then she just as suddenly snapped out of it. But after that she didn't seem able to use her back legs very well. On Monday morning she was cowering behind the bathroom door and I was all but convinced she was about to die. Thankfully, Alex talked me through this. He's a rock! I got her to the vet who, after a brief examination, said he thought Brigitte had a stroke! They kept her over night to do some tests and observe her.

I picked her up today. She did indeed have a stroke but there was no neurological damage and she is once again able to use her back legs. Her glucose was pretty high which the doc said was from the stress and the only other thing wrong with her was she had a slight impaction in an anal gland which they just squeezed and fixed. Brigitte was so mad at me when I went to get her. As soon as she saw me she started meowing loudly at me. She did it all the way home too. When we got inside Arnie just about did a back flip when he saw his best friend finally home again. She came out of her crate and ate right away. Then she went and hid for a about a half hour.

I was beginning to think she was going to hide all night but finally she came into the living room, jumped on my lap and head butted me about a hundred times which is "I love you" in Brigitte-speak. So, all was right with the world. Until...

I had to give her her first dose of medication. I dabbed the pill in butter, gently reached down and touched her head under the auspices of petting her, suddenly gripped her head firmly while forcing her mouth open with the same hand. I slid my buttered pill finger down her throat and then clamped her mouth shut until she swallowed. She did it but she immediately ran under the table. I thought she was probably going to spend the rest of the night angry at me but instead she rubbed against my ankles and then climbed on the couch where she likes to snooze. She's there right now, with her pal Arnie, and, yes, all is right with the world.

Homecoming...

Arnie came home today. Out of the hospital but still not out of the woods. He looks better, eyes are clear and not running, but he's still sneezing though at the vet they told me he wasn't! They sent him home with some special food and I still have to apply the eye drops. The good news is right when he got out of the carrier he ate and used the litter box. He seems tentative though...not really sure of himself...which I'm sure is because he's a little mad at me for taking him there at all. Brigette was happy to see him at first but then took it upon herself to just sit and stare glumly at me as if to say "Oh, you brought HIM back!"

Arnie needs bloodwork done to find out exactly what the heck all this has been about. I just didn't have the money to get that done right now so they treated his symptoms but I have no firm idea if this was a passing illness or something more serious. I get paid in a week and a half and I'll call the vet then to see if he will do the blood work then. Until then, good or bad, I'll have to take care of him at home. I just hope he's on the mend and doesn't have a relapse before then.

I'm exhausted. This has been the most emotionally draining week for me. In addition to Arnie being so ill, my divorce became final today. I had to go to court this morning and take care of that before going to get Arnie. So, I'm home today with an enormous heahache, a semi-sick catter, and one who's mad at me and I'm just going back to bed. That seems like the safest place for me right now.

How cats show they miss one another...

First, Brigette spent an abnormal amount of time sitting on me wanting to be held. Then she would go to gaze longingly out the window. Then she would return to my lap...then the window...then lap....window...lap...window...and so on.

Next, she slept in my bed which she rarely, if ever does. Then, I wake up to find out that she spent some time dumping the contents of the litter box onto the kitchen floor.

She misses Arnie. So do I.

I called the vet today to see how he's doing. They gave him an enema (which I'm sure he was thrilled with) and that seems to have helped the blockage. They have him on IV antibiotics, forced fluids and liquid food but he was eating on his own this morning. He is still extremely congested and sneezing green goo so he has to stay at the hospital tonight too. Still no absolute word on what this all was...so we'll see.

Back to the vet...

I woke up this morning and Arnie was still laying in exactly the same spot I left him in the night before. I thought he was dead. He wasn't. I put him on the couch and put the eye drops in his eyes and set him back on the floor. He laid down right where I put him and went back to sleep. In the kitchen I found some vomit. Apparently he did move at some point during the night, if only to vomit.

I called the vet again. He got me in this morning. Arnie plastic cone collar was covered in snot from his almost constant sneezing. His eyes - both of them now - are runny and he is lethargic and not eating or drinking. Yesterday I tried to spoon feed him and he took only one teaspoon of food. At the vet, they weighed him and he's lost two pounds since Monday. He's also dehydrated, running a temp and is constipated.

So they're keeping him overnight. They'll give him some IV fluids and antibiotics and feed him with a syringe and give him an enema to make him poop. The vet wanted to do blood work too but right now I can't afford that so that's on hold at least until I get paid in September. I hate that I had to choose what treatment to do based on what I could afford. I suppose the treatment will make him better but the blood work would have told me exactly what was going on.

I've been researching Arnie's symptoms on the web and they all match something called feline herpes virus. According to what I've read, cats can only get this if exposed to another cat who is a carrier. Arnie has only ever been exposed to one other cat - Brigette. My Brigette is fine - healthy as a horse - but she could be carrying this virus and not show any symptoms. If that's the case, I'll have to make a hard decision on whether or not to keep her. And as if Arnie being sick wasn't breaking my heart, having to give up Brigette will really do me in.

Just plain ick...

Yeah so, this week so far really bites. I'm still not feeling great. I went to work in spite of it and almost made it through the day. I came home a couple of hours early. Arnie is pathetic. Just plain pathetic. He's so sick right now. His eye is ugly, he's not eating well, and he's uncomfortable because of the plastic cone collar. When I came home I sat down on the couch to rest and he climbed up into my arms and went to sleep. I didn't have the heart to move him so I let him stay there and sleep for two hours. I wasn't feeling like getting up to do anything anyway so we sort of just vegged there together. I was happy that he came up to me. He's really shying away from me because of all the eye drops. Of course, when I finally had to get up I first put some drops in his eyes which I'm sure will now make him never want to snuggle with me again.

I hate that he's sick. I feel like I am the most inept person. I just don't know what to do other than what the vet says to do and, frankly, that doesn't seem to be working all that well. Alex tells me to be patient but he hasn't seen poor Arnie just completely lacking any energy or joy. I find myself celebrating the small victories like when I noticed he did go and eat something finally or when I check to see if he's really just sleeping or if he's still breathing.

I never thought I would become a crazy cat lady but here I am in a panic over this furball. I can't help it. He's fully taken his place in my heart and I'm responsible for him. I feel like a failure. I can't make him better.

I feel like crap today...

It's nothing I won't get over but still I feel like crap. More than my own ickiness, I'm worried about Arnie. I've had him to the vet and have been giving him eye drops and a food supplement but there's no change and he seems worse. This conjunctivitis appears to be more than what it is. I've been researching cat eye health and this looks like feline herpes virus which they say is caused by stress. Nothing has changed here in his life except the introduction of my new(er) cat, Brigette and if she's what's causing his stress I don't know what to do.

What's worse is he's getting really cranky now and refusing to let me near his eyes even to just clean them. I'm calling the vet today and even though I'm sick I'll have to get him in there. I feel so bad for the little guy because he wants to come to me for some petting and loving but now he's afraid that I'll be poking around his eyes each time so he's keeping his distance. I can't stand to see him just laying about so miserably. It breaks my heart. I just hope that the vet can do something that will clear this up and I sincerely hope it will not involve me having to hold him down against his will and put stuff in his eyes.