A question of friends...

In the age of Facebook, or any other online social media, it's easy to amass lists of names of people who consider themselves as "friends". For some reason or other, at one time, you had something in common - maybe a game you played or a forum you frequented. So when that "friend request" came, you didn't think twice about approving it. At least I didn't. On Facebook, I have 302 friends. In real life I don't even think I know 302 people. But on any given day, in my newsfeed, I get notifications from what the most active of those 302 are up to.

Most of time, I read those notifications and move on. Sometimes I'll like them or reply in some way. Sometimes I have to bite my tongue and move on faster because I've found out that there are some real doozies in that 302. As I've said before, the events since the last shooting incident have really changed me in many ways. I think I have always been a very tolerant and open minded person. I believe in the freedom of speech and stand by that right. But my tolerance for those that use that right to spew hatred and intolerance has just simply ceased. This week, on Facebook, I have 302 friends...I used to have 305. For the first time since I started using the internet, which has been a long, long time, I have completely stopped interacting with someone. Three people, in fact. I thought about it for a long time before I "unfriended" them. It seems so silly really. Does it make a difference? It's just the internet. That's a phrase I have used on other people before when they've gotten upset about something on Facebook. It's just the internet. And who are these people to me, really? More than likely I would never, ever meet them in real life and my opinion of their beliefs did not matter a diddly squat to them so would it even matter?

Yet....

Their beliefs were racist. And homophobic. And hurtful. And I have dear and loving people in my life of various ethnic backgrounds and various sexual identities and I love them in REAL LIFE and I would no more let anyone hurt them than I would hurt them myself. So, allowing shit like that to pop up in my newsfeed and not do anything about it seemed complacent and almost as though I was an accomplice in their miserable dogma. I tried to reason with them. I tried to explain. But there was no use so, in the end, I did it. Click. They were gone.

It felt strangely good.

Keeping my big mouth shut...

My political tendencies lean toward the liberal side, I will admit. I hate to label myself that way but, realistically, we live in a world where we feel better about ourselves if we can neatly compartmentalize each other so we know where we stand. So, to make it easy, I will fly the liberal flag. I work in a small place and in this place I work with a lot of other liberals. We get paid very little to do a lot for people most of society would rather not even think about. In the midst of all this there are two very staunch conservatives. How they find themselves here, I cannot begin to understand.

Both are young, Christian and white. Both are married. One has a new family. One just found out she is expecting. Both are active in their churches. I actually like these women very much. They are funny and smart and know their jobs well. But they are also a constant source of aggravation to me when it comes to politics. I find myself having to bite my tongue and shut my mouth.

The recent event in Ferguson, MO have been particularly upsetting for me. I have biracial family members and the unrest and horrible violence is just bad. The circumstances under which Michael Brown was shot happen all too often and the heated and hateful debate of who was right and why he was shot and who or what he was just go on ad nauseum. One of the women in the office is married to a police officer and she is very vocal about how thankless a job that is. I have no doubt about that. I have friends on the force. But I also know that not all cops use their heads in a crisis and not all cops think before they act. I have also known some cops to be incredibly racist. Most are good, decent people who want to help. Some are not.

There are no easy answers. It's not as easy as telling young black men to simply stop arguing with police because, let's be honest, police are often wrong. It's not as easy as telling us all to respect authority because blatant respect is hollow and meaningless. Respect has to be earned. Maybe the trick is to simply stop talking about race at all. Stop describing people by their color. I am a woman, not a white woman. You are a man, not a black man. We are simply human beings with light or dark skin pigment.  Why should that make us so different? Why should that make us hate one another? Why should that make us kill one another?

I hope that in my lifetime mother's can stop teaching their children to fear police officers because their children's skin is dark. I pray it will...