The awful byproduct of thinking too much is that I start to feel that no matter what thoughts I may have, no one seems to care. Today was a lonely day which is weird since I was surrounded by people for most of it. It became sharply clear early on today that my thoughts, opinions and feelings were not wanted. Everytime I offered something to the conversation I was abruptly shut down so I just stopped talking. It's something I've come to expect from being with my family. I am the youngest and that role will never change no matter how old I am. I am the insignificant kid sister - so what could I possibly know about anything.
I don't know...a while back I was definitely in a place in my life where I felt completely alone no matter who I was with. It's starting to feel like that again today. So, I'm sitting here now, in my apartment, alone and feeling less than.
It's the aloneness that I can't stand. I want to hold on to the fact that there is someone who loves me but it's very hard when I don't feel good about myself. It's like I'm at the bottom of a well and the daylight above is slipping away. So, yeah, there it is...
1 comment:
if i was there i'd totally give you a wet willy, that always cheers me up
Post a Comment