Alex is leaving tomorrow. I can only describe what I feel about that as a constant sucking in of my breath so as not to succumb to total sadness while he's still here. I'm finding melancholia in every moment and that's not good. I have to stop and enjoy these final hours we have together.
Last night was so good. We took the time to really talk through our plans and it was so good to know that he and I have been thinking along the same lines and are committed to the same things. If I don't hear that once in a while, the foolish doubtful inside of me starts to make me wonder. But now I know. Well, I always knew that he loved me and wants to have a life with me. But now we have affirmed that with each other and that will make all that we have to do between now and next year so worth it!
So, yeah, I'll be very sad tomorrow. But life is good. And when you know there is one person in all the world who loves you for who you are and sometimes in spite of who you are, life is fucking great!
1 comment:
you've got a lot amiga, good on you for seeing that
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