Good news? Bad news??

My sister got the results of her recent PET Scan. The cancer has spread to her pelvis, ribs, lungs and one shoulder. That's the bad news.

She has to have some more blood tests done tomorrow to see if her particular type of cancer is estrogen related. If it is, then she won't have to have intravenous chemo but rather would take pills and get an injection of bone strengthening medication every two weeks. So, she wouldn't lose her hair or have the usual sickness that comes with chemo. That's the good news.

She was also told that her cancer didn't just appear overnight but has been with her a long time now. She hadn't been to a doctor in many years before this and so they couldn't catch it earlier. She was also told that no matter the treatment the best they can do is hope to prolong her life. She is incurable. That's the worst news.

They can't tell her how long "prolonged" may be. That will all depend on how effective the treatments are and if the tumors shrink. Her husband is upset that she didn't go to a doctor sooner. Her daughter is distraught at knowing she is losing her mother. I am torn between seizing my life and living it to it's fullest and facing what will be the greatest loss of my life. I feel guilty for my moments of happiness and sad that she may not be here to share them with me.

But we are going on. My family is planning our Thanksgiving holidays and then Christmas and beyond. We're getting up, going to work, talking with friends and doing all the things normal people do. But this isn't normal. This is wrong. Because what we really want to do is scream and cry and hit something...hard. But Terry is forever optimistic. So what right do we have to be otherwise? My other sister thinks she is in denial. But I think she knows there is nothing good to come from shutting down and shutting out life. So she goes on. And that is the lesson of strength we will all learn from her.