MIA...

I haven't written in here since last week. Truth is, I haven't felt like it. My brain is MIA. Last Wednesday, I got the proverbial beat down at work which has left me thinking I need to rethink this whole job. I am angry and, though I don't want to do anything rash, I am still angry and get angrier each day.

Everyday I have to force myself to go to work. This from someone who just a few months ago would have told you she loves her job. I have seen the "human" aspect of human services get sucked right out of the system and there's nothing I can do about it. So, each day, I am "this much closer" to taking a walk. I don't feel supported in my work on any level. In fact, on many levels I feel betrayed and made to feel like I am the dumb kid in class. I know that's not true. I am incredibly strong, smart and, normally, enthusiastic but there is only so much crap one person can take and I am or rather may have already reached my crap limit.

The system is broken. I am held accountable for the broken system. I didn't break it in the first place yet, surprisingly, it seems it is easier to create a scapegoat (me) than to realistically look at the breaks. So it goes.

I am becoming cynical and sarcastic and uncaring and none of that makes for a good social worker.