This past weekend I was a slug. I felt like I had a cold coming on so I stayed, was super lazy and watched movies. It was really hit and miss with movies I chose but here goes:
Dark Shadows -
Okay, okay, if you weren't a kid in the 70s this movie means nothing to you. I mean, it's not like Dark Shadows, the TV series, has had the benefit of being played in syndication the way shows like "The Brady Bunch" or "Charlie's Angels" has. It hasn't been given a chance to gain a new, younger following so, of course, it really only has an appeal to die hard Johnny Depp/Tim Burton fans and those of us who remember how much fun it was to pretend to be sick and stay home from school to watch the original. In those days, Barnabas Collins was the much misunderstood brooding vampire of Collinswood and, long before Edward Cullen, he stole the hearts of teen age girls and, I dare say, housewives everywhere. In the Tim Burton movie of the same name, Barnabas is reawakened in the 1970s and Collinswood, his beloved home, is inhabited by the ragtag remnants of his family. I can't say this movie was hilarious but there were some really funny moments and one liners that might have been funny only to a fan of the original. The plot, Barnabas returns to restore his family and the family fishing business to their rightful place, lagged toward the end but, overall, I actually like this one. I'm a fan of Tim Burton and his wild imagination and, yes, there were spots where the premise was thin...really thin...but it was weird and funny and nostalgic all at the same time. I'm glad I didn't blow money seeing this in the theatre but it was worth the rental.
Red Lights -
I saw the preview of this in the theatre and thought it looked good and then it never really went anywhere. Truth is, this is a pretty damn good movie! Sigourney Weaver plays a doctor of parapsychology who goes around debunking psychics. She's a non-believer. Her sidekick, played by Cillian Murphy, helps her "out" faith healers but he has something inside that makes him wonder if any of it could be true. Enter Simon Silver, played by Robert DeNiro, a blind psychic who comes out of a self imposed retirement. He went into retirement after rumors that he caused one of his detractors death but now returns for a few shows and agrees, for the first time, to allow psychic testing to determine whether he's a fake or not. This film has some great moments and even greater performances. And it has a nice twist at the end that I really didn't see coming. I don't know why this movie didn't do better at the box office. Maybe it was just a tad too sophisticated for the summer movie goers. I recommend this one!
Rock of Ages -
Oh. My. God. Do NOT under any circumstances rent this movie. Don't even watch it if someone gives it to you. This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life and I have seen a LOT of stinkers. The music, hair metal music from the 80s, is okay. The performances are abysmal. I can still smell them and I watched them two days ago. The story is the same as A Star Is Born or Burlesque or any of that genre - small town girl moves to LA to be a star, meets a boy, gets a job, runs into trouble in the business due to her naivety, and in the end, saves the day. The lead girl/woman is the chick from the recent remake of Footloose and was on Dancing with the Stars - don't know her name, don't care. The boy/man is someone I've never heard of and probably won't ever hear of again. Alec Baldwin, wearing a very bad mullet wig, owns a joint that's supposed to the the hottest rock bar in LA. Russell Brand, in his own horrible hair, is his business partner/lover. (They sing a duet and kiss. Seriously.) Catherine Zeta-Jones is the Bible thumping wife of the mayor who turns out to be a past groupie of the main rocker character, Stacee Jaxx. I saved the best for last. Stacee Jaxx is played by Tom Cruise and it's the creepiest, weirdest, most unfunny, overtly perverted performance I have ever seen. Even for Tom Cruise! Put them all together, and you have the madness and bucket of vomit called Rock of Ages. Yikes!!
Cabin in the Woods -
I was looking for the movie Chernobyl Diaries but it was not available so my Plan B was Cabin in the Woods. I'm glad for it too! I was so pleasantly surprised but this unique take on the horror movie format of five friends going for a weekend to a deserted lake cabin! Seriously, I had no idea how entertaining this was going to be. It wasn't at all like I thought it would be and, unfortunately, I can't really give away too much of the plot without giving away the utter coolness of this film. You'll have to see it for yourself. Suffice it to say that there are some good scares and lots of screaming. The ensemble cast of mostly new names is excellent and the writing is really good. Very entertaining, enjoyable, scary yet funny and a really good time! I recommend this one too!
But trust me on the Rock of Ages thing....seriously. Trust me!
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