More movie reviews...

This past weekend I was a slug. I felt like I had a cold coming on so I stayed, was super lazy and watched movies. It was really hit and miss with movies I chose but here goes:

Dark Shadows -
Okay, okay, if you weren't a kid in the 70s this movie means nothing to you. I mean, it's not like Dark Shadows, the TV series, has had the benefit of being played in syndication the way shows like "The Brady Bunch" or "Charlie's Angels" has. It hasn't been given a chance to gain a new, younger following so, of course, it really only has an appeal to die hard Johnny Depp/Tim Burton fans and those of us who remember how much fun it was to pretend to be sick and stay home from school to watch the original. In those days, Barnabas Collins was the much misunderstood brooding vampire of Collinswood and, long before Edward Cullen, he stole the hearts of teen age girls and, I dare say, housewives everywhere. In the Tim Burton movie of the same name, Barnabas is reawakened in the 1970s and Collinswood, his beloved home, is inhabited by the ragtag remnants of his family. I can't say this movie was hilarious but there were some really funny moments and one liners that might have been funny only to a fan of the original. The plot, Barnabas returns to restore his family and the family fishing business to their rightful place, lagged toward the end but, overall, I actually like this one. I'm a fan of Tim Burton and his wild imagination and, yes, there were spots where the premise was thin...really thin...but it was weird and funny and nostalgic all at the same time. I'm glad I didn't blow money seeing this in the theatre but it was worth the rental.

Red Lights -
I saw the preview of this in the theatre and thought it looked good and then it never really went anywhere. Truth is, this is a pretty damn good movie! Sigourney Weaver plays a doctor of parapsychology who goes around debunking psychics. She's a non-believer. Her sidekick, played by Cillian Murphy, helps her "out" faith healers but he has something inside that makes him wonder if any of it could be true. Enter Simon Silver, played by Robert DeNiro, a blind psychic who comes out of a self imposed retirement. He went into retirement after rumors that he caused one of his detractors death but now returns for a few shows and agrees, for the first time, to allow psychic testing to determine whether he's a fake or not. This film has some great moments and even greater performances. And it has a nice twist at the end that I really didn't see coming. I don't know why this movie didn't do better at the box office. Maybe it was just a tad too sophisticated for the summer movie goers. I recommend this one!

Rock of Ages -
Oh. My. God. Do NOT under any circumstances rent this movie. Don't even watch it if someone gives it to you. This is the worst movie I have ever seen in my life and I have seen a LOT of stinkers. The music, hair metal music from the 80s, is okay. The performances are abysmal. I can still smell them and I watched them two days ago. The story is the same as A Star Is Born or Burlesque or any of that genre - small town girl moves to LA to be a star, meets a boy, gets a job, runs into trouble in the business due to her naivety, and in the end, saves the day.  The lead girl/woman is the chick from the recent remake of Footloose and was on Dancing with the Stars - don't know her name, don't care. The boy/man is someone I've never heard of and probably won't ever hear of again. Alec Baldwin, wearing a very bad mullet wig, owns a joint that's supposed to the the hottest rock bar in LA. Russell Brand, in his own horrible hair, is his business partner/lover. (They sing a duet and kiss. Seriously.) Catherine Zeta-Jones is the Bible thumping wife of the mayor who turns out to be a past groupie of the main rocker character, Stacee Jaxx. I saved the best for last. Stacee Jaxx is played by Tom Cruise and it's the creepiest, weirdest, most unfunny, overtly perverted performance I have ever seen. Even for Tom Cruise! Put them all together, and you have the madness and bucket of vomit called Rock of Ages. Yikes!!

Cabin in the Woods -
I was looking for the movie Chernobyl Diaries but it was not available so my Plan B was Cabin in the Woods. I'm glad for it too! I was so pleasantly surprised but this unique take on the horror movie format of five friends going for a weekend to a deserted lake cabin! Seriously, I had no idea how entertaining this was going to be. It wasn't at all like I thought it would be and, unfortunately, I can't really give away too much of the plot without giving away the utter coolness of this film. You'll have to see it for yourself. Suffice it to say that there are some good scares and lots of screaming. The ensemble cast of mostly new names is excellent and the writing is really good. Very entertaining, enjoyable, scary yet funny and a really good time! I recommend this one too!

But trust me on the Rock of Ages thing....seriously. Trust me!

With sleep comes the dreams...

I have very strange, humorous dreams all the time. Last night, after not sleeping the night before, I slept like a baby and had one of the funniest, weirdest dreams I've ever had.

In my dream...

I was in charge of a day camp for kids. Before the kids arrived, I had a lot of pizza out for the counselors. We were sitting around eating it when the kids started to arrive. One of the little girls ran over and demanded to have some pizza. We told her that she wasn't allowed and had to go to the area where the other kids were gathering. She became very angry and POOF! turned herself into a piece of cheese pizza. Her parents, obviously very frustrated about the behavior, simply threw up their hands and said, "We don't know what to do with her anymore!" and walked off.

I picked up the piece of cheese pizza and, holding it in my hand, told it/her she would have to still go to where the other kids were and started walking over to that area with her/it in my hand. I got about half way and came upon a grassy area with a large tree. I put the pizza/girl in the grass and said, "Well, you can be a piece of cheese pizza if you want but you can just sit here under this tree and I hope a crow doesn't decide to eat you!" And I walked away.

About this time, Jamey (a friend of mine who was making a guest appearance in my dream) came walking up. I was telling her about the cheese pizza/girl incident as we walked nearer to where the other kids were. We got to a bench and sat down. Jamey asked, "So where is pizza/girl?" I said, "I think you just sat on her/it."

Somehow, the cheese pizza/girl had made it's/her way to the bench. When Jamey stood up the pizza/girl jumped from the bench and into my hands where it/she turned into a tiny, little doll-like girl made of felt. The doll/girl said, "I don't want to be with other kids. I'm too teeny and they won't like me because I'm so different."

Jamey took the doll/girl into her hands and as they walked away I heard her telling the doll/girl, "If you give them a chance, they're doing to like you."

Then I woke up.

I have no freakin' idea what that dreams means and, honestly, I don't want to know. I love that I have these weird-ass dreams all the time. Some of them are so funny I wake myself up laughing. All I can think of is that I haven't had really good pizza in a long time so maybe that's where this came from!

Any analysis is welcomed! LOL

Heidi Klum is a bearded marionette....

I have always had really odd dreams. Ever since I was a kid I have had vivid, full color, detailed dreams that never make any sense and, often, are so funny that I wake myself up laughing out loud. Today when I came home from work I decided to take a short nap. I had a dream that was a combo of people I know, situations that never really happen and pseudo celebrities from the show "Project Runway". Basically, in my dream, I was somewhere - not really sure where - and I was just there, with nothing much happening, with some people from work. Then, Tim Gunn, from Project Runway, walked by and I said "Wow, Tim Gunn and he looks just like his mugshot from when he was arrested." To my knowledge, Tim Gunn was never arrested. But there he was and that was what I said. So I decided to see where he was going.

Next, someone who looked like Ru Paul came up to me and asked me if the bus was coming. I told him I didn't know but then also added "You look good for just getting out of jail!" Again, I have no idea why Ru Paul was in my dream and I have no idea if he was ever in jail! At that moment, Tim Gunn ran past with the police in chase and Ru Paul took off and they both got tackled and arrested and taken immediately to court which was right there where we were all standing.

So now I'm in court watching all of this and the judge comes out. It's Heidi Klum. Well, sort of. Because she was a marionette with Heidi Klum's face but she was a bearded lady and she was manipulating her own strings and she kept moving her legs all around crazily. I was thinking "Wow, Heidi Klum has a beard!" and then my alarm went off. My alarm makes this twinkling sound like fairies or something so even though I heard it I was still dreaming and thought it was a nice touch that there was fairy music for the bearded Heidi Klum dancing marionette.

Then I woke up.

I swear I have no idea what the heck this dream could possibly mean. I mean, why would I dream about these people and have them all in trouble with the law and have Heidi Klum having a beard?? I dream crap like this all the time. So weird but always makes for interesting sleeping! LOL