That was then, this is now...

Again, as I sit and see the load of gifts under our tree, I realize that Alex and I are pretty well off. In fact, I'd say we spoiled each other this year. And that's okay because it's just us and we take care of each other. But I remember feeling this way every year, even when outside observers might say my family was poor.

In retrospect, we were poor. If you only looked at income vs. cost of raising 6 kids back then, we would fall well within the national guidelines for the poverty level. But my parents were from a time when the things they had were treasured and frivolous things didn't matter at all. We had everything we needed and there was always something extra at the holidays. My Dad owned a popular bar and restaurant back then. Kelly's Tavern stood at the corner of 7th Avenue and 46th Street. It had a steady stream of regulars who spent their weekends either sitting on a bar stool or tucked away in a booth enjoying our fabulous fish fry or hand dipped fried chicken. My mother, who taught second grade Monday thru Friday, was the "chief cook and bottle washer" on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

At the holidays, we'd go out and pick out our tree. Usually it was me and my Dad that did that. We'd try to get one that met everyone's specifications and wasn't too bald in the middle. Inevitably, we'd find one that we thought was perfect but, once home, needed all kinds of support and creative decorating. More than one Kelleher tree was shored up with a tie to the curtain rod to ensure it didn't take an untimely tumble. It took two untimely tumbles to teach us that!

My Mom would bring out the two large chests of decorations. One was filled with tree lights and ornaments, neatly stacked and put away from last year. The other held our crèche. For years, our crèche was a large manger made from particle board. Each shepherd, Magi, lamb, Mary and Joseph were made of the same. We gently set up each beautifully aged piece, a corner bent from tiny eager hands, an ear missing from the camel. It was tattered but such a tradition that we looked forward to it every year. Once the house was decorated, presents began appearing under the tree. Something from one of my sisters, a box or two from my Dad, the little things I would wrap up. The tree always looked amazing covered in tinsel with shiny bows peeping from underneath.

Christmas Eve, back then, was a late night affair. We were Catholic and so we could not eat before receiving Holy Communion at Midnight Mass. My mother would put out a large smoked salmon early in the day. It was always huge and had an olive for it's eye. It was a thing to behold sent over from my Dad's fish supplier, Globe Fisheries, each year. We'd nibble on it for part of the day. After Mass at Midnight, we'd walk home in the winter cold and snow to begin the real festivities. My Mom would start cooking the minute she got home. We'd sit under the glowing tree and sing Christmas carols. We do this to this day. Then we eat. Cheesy eggs and potatoes, kishka and kielbasa, home made Cinnamon rolls, cookies, and more! We still have these same foods. Some traditions are meant to be forever and kishka is one of them! Now our meager meal of gifted fish and sausage probably doesn't sound glamorous but it was a feast and it was ours. We identified with that meal so much and still do to this day.

Mostly, our gifts were practical. New clothes, new shoes, socks, undies, etc. but my Mom always made sure that we had something fun too. For me, the little kid there would be  doll of some sort or bike and the "older"kids would get whatever it was that they wanted too. Somehow, in spite of their work schedules and our overall low income, my parents always managed to make our Christmases magical. I think the biggest difference, as I look back, is the many, many presents I get now. Santa still visits my home each year. There is always something good in my stocking. Nowadays, it is usually loaded with candies. But back then, candy was a treat and we only got a little bit in our stockings. Yet our stockings were always full! We'd each get a banana, an orange and an apple, and a bag of salted peanuts in the shell. And one chocolate Santa! That's about all on this blustery winter day.

Office Christmas Party!

Today we're having our Annual Office Christmas Party. We take two hours out of the middle of the day to come together and eat, act goofy and eat some more. This time there is an Ugly Sweater Contest and a White Elephant Gift Exchange. This means that there is really no work going on here today. So far we've eaten fudge and cookies and played Candy Crush Saga on Facebook. All appointments have been put off until sometime next week and there are people starting to hum carols in the halls. All in all, good fun!

But what I am really hoping for is that during the luncheon/party, there is also an announcement. An announcement letting us know about our Christmas bonuses. I kind of feel like Clark Griswold in A Christmas Vacation. I've already spent my bonus based on the nearly confirmed rumors that we are getting one. Now I'm hoping the bonus is cash and not the Jelly of the Month Club membership that ol' Clark got from his boss!

I also feel somewhat conflicted about getting a bonus at all. You see, if we, as a not for profit human/social service agency does well, we are only allowed to keep something like 10% of our overhead for profit. The remainder, if any, gets sent back to the state. For the past several years, we have not been able to give our employees any raises though they certainly deserved them. We just didn't have it in our contracted budget and the county that contracts us kept red lining it before they would renew our contract. But last year, we did well and our boss had to return money to the state. Money that could have been given to employees who work hard every day. So this year, he asked out board to approve a bonus for everyone. And the rumor is...the board approved. So why the conflict? Because if a human/social service agency does well it means that more and more people are in need of social services. People are poor, in need of housing and mental health services and it means that our economy is suffering. It's the sad fact that when the country is hurting, our agency and others like them thrive. It's like making a gain on the sorrow of another. Still, I know that what I do is sorely needed so I cannot think of it in those terms. And I will take that bonus. And maybe think of a way to give a little back too. After all, what comes around goes around. But right now, I'm off! Going to join in the caroling! TTFN!