30 Letters in 30 Days...Day Ten: Someone I don't talk to as much as I would like...

Dear Scott,

I remember meeting you for the first time back at good ol' UW-Parkside. You had already been there for half a semester and I was fresh out of high school and full of acting dreams. I liked you instantly and you and I became the very best of friends. We saw each other through a lot of college freshman angst and beyond. I don't know that I could have made it through those years quite as well without you.

You were there when my Dad passed away and stood by me in my grief, silently supporting me and keeping others at bay, because you knew me well enough to know that at times such as that I needed to be alone. I'll never forget that, Scott.

Remember the silly summer jobs we had? Directing the local traveling children's theatre. What a hoot that was! And all those Friday nights tearing up the dance floor at the local gay disco. We were so full of ourselves then! The Za-Za Girls strike again.

When it was time for us to grow up and move out, we clung together and faced the wild streets of Chicago. We were so naive but eager to be part of it all. Our apartment there was the bomb! Remember how we almost didn't even go see it because the rent was so low we were sure it was going to be a dump? Who knew that for under $500 a month we'd get two bedrooms, two baths, built in cabinets, exposed brick walls, hard wood floors AND a fireplace. And it would be right down the block from Wrigley Field! And we would have the crazy naked lady for a neighbor! Haha!

I'm excited that we're getting together this Sunday. I can't wait to see you. I love how we now live in two different cities, almost never actually speak to each other except for a text or a status update on Facebook but when we see each other it's like we were just together yesterday. That is the mark of a true friendship.

I love you, Z also known as Scott also known as Chris, and I always will. You are one of those people who've made an indelible mark in my heart and that special place will always be yours. If you ever need anything, you know I'll be there. No matter what it is, I'm there. Always.

With deep love and constant friendship,
Me

30 Letters in 30 Days...Day One: my best friend...

Dear A.,
I don't know if you know this but in addition to all of the other labels I could give you or ways I could describe you, you are my best friend. You have been for some time now. I think you sealed the deal the day I told you that secret that I never shared with anyone and you just quietly supported me through that very dark time. Right now you're waiting beside me for the inevitable bad time that we both know will happen one of these days. I have no doubt that when I need your shoulder you'll be right there with arms wide open.

I love you for that.

I know that I can always rely on you. I know that you take my moods, my silliness, my changing of my mind, my stubbornness and all those other parts of me in stride and accept me for who I am. One of the best things you do for me is make me laugh. Probably harder than anyone has ever made me laugh. I can't tell you how important this is to me.

You've opened my eyes to the big wide world, made me stop and think, and made me believe that I have something to offer this world.

You're my best friend, A. And I love you for that!

Mary

Wonder World WIde Web...

As some of you know, I am a Facebook addict. I got to that site 20 times per day to play games, see what my friends are up and whatnot. For better or worse, there it is. I can honestly say that there has been one HUGE "for better" that I much appreciate about Facebook. Because it is so popular, I have been able to reconnect with many people in my life that I had thought were left only in memory.

Last night was one of the best of those moments. Previously, I had reconnected with some of the girls I went to grade school with. Yes, grade school. And we've been chatting it up and making plans to meet up for lunch all this week. I can't wait for that! But last night, I was reconnected with one of my very best friends from back in the day. She was someone I had lost track of and thought of constantly throughout my life. My friend Nikki! My god..when I found her on Facebook the messages started and the texts and it was like we were both 13 again! We were a pair back then, Nikki and I. We were both WAY into music and liked almost the same artists. Bowie and Elton were the big two but for some reason she also had this penchant for Randy Newmann! I could never quite figure that out! Anyway, we used to write these ginormous notes to each other all the time. I mean, at night, at home, writing 15 page notes to give each other the next day in school. The notes were all about our fantasies about marrying rock stars and seeing the world! We had vivid imaginations!

We've been enjoying getting to know one another again. She reminded me of something very funny! She had a picture back then of her brother and some of his friends. There was one friend, John, who I thought was a hotty! She is now married to John but she reminded me of how I said "I want him!" when I saw the picture!! LOL I told her at least she ended up with the hot one!

Luckily, Niks lives in Wisconsin still and gets to Kenosha about once a month. So, we will see each other again. Oh yes we will. I had forgotten how important friends were back then. How much we got each other through at 13. There's a line in "Stand By Me" at the end of the movie that alludes to the serious bonding nature of the friendships of that age. Something like "Did we ever have friends like those we had when we were that age?" And the answer is really no, we don't have that same youthful imagination or careful tending of each other's easily broken hearts that we did back then. When' we're adults we are too filled with adult things and responsibilities to forge those kinds of friendships. Oh, we have good friendships....friends we'd do anything for...but when you think about it deeply, it's not the same.

Reuniting with Nikki brought all of that back to me. All of the teen age hopes and dreams and fears and wondering was plopped right back in my lap. And when we started writing each other again there was a feeling of instant acceptance. There's no ego attached with a friend who knows you inside and out. Nikki knows me. Always has. And I'm finding an enormous amount of comfort in that. I can't wait to see her.

It's raining and I'm crabby and my best friend tried to kill me...

I did not sleep well last night. I was tossing and turning and feeling cold and then hot and covered and uncovered. Yuck! What a night. So this morning I'm a wee bit crabby. It didn't help that I had nightmares last night. In the first one, I was home alone and there was a loud noise which I assumed was the cats doing something or other. So I ignored it. Until a large black scary looking cloud of particles wafted into my room. I started breathing them in and choking to death. I woke up.

The next night mare I had starred my best friend Jamey. She was helping me do something with my car and we had the hood open. She was holding something up and open so I could reach my hands in to move something or other. All of a sudden she got this blank look in her eyes and began pushing what she was holding down on to my hands which, in turn, was pushing my hands into this thing that looked like a chopping device. Because as you know all cars have chopping devices under the hood. She snapped out of it but said she didn't remember anything. I woke up.

Then, after I woke up, I wanted some coffee but I couldn't find my special mug anywhere. The longer I looked the crabbier I got. I finally found it. And got my coffee. But I'm still crabby.

Did I mention it was raining?

I need a nap.

Best friends...

Throughout my life, I haven't really had a female best friend. Well, not since grade school I guess and we've long since lost contact. At the university, I met Scott, who quickly became my best friend and remains, to this day, one of my dearest friends even though we do not keep in touch as much as we should. I've envied those woman I know who have made best female friends and kept them close throughout their lives. The thing is, I have four sisters and we are extremely close so, I think, we have taken the place of the "best friend" role in each other's lives over the years.

I realized today, however, that I do have a best friend! For the past three years I have worked with a great woman named Jamey. I'm actually her boss but in the time we've worked together we have forged a really great friendship. We have those "girl talks" that women sometimes have and we have been there for each other through some incredibly stressful and incredibly happy times. I've asked her to be my Matron of Honor and she was thrilled that I asked her! We have sometimes lived parallel lives. Her husband, Miguel, just went through his own immigration issues as my Alexander is going through now. She has weight issues so I can bitch about my own to her and she understands them! She's fun to be with (though she says she "doesn't do fun"! hahah!). She's a great friend. And after all these years of not really caring if I had a best friend or not, it really feels good to realize I have one and she's been there all along!