How do you explain it?

I have friends from all over the world thanks to the internet. Over the years it's been interesting listening to how other countries percieve us here in the good old USA. I remember, when I first went to Sweden, I was surprised to hear that over all they saw the US as an overly religiously preoccupied country. I didn't see it. Certainly, I am not overly religious. In fact, I am not religious at all. And though I have friends and family that are religious, I've never felt it was overt. Yet, I can see how that perception started when I watch the media, our politicians, and see how religion does infiltrate areas of our lives whether we subscribe or not. In god we trust...vodee oh do do!

Last night, when it was announced that Navy Seals had killed Osama bin Laden I have to admit I was amazed and thrilled. I clearly remember the fear and unrest we all felt on September 11. 2001. It was an act of terrorism that shook us to our core. I remember wanting to be home among my loved ones and stay close to what I knew to be good and true because it felt like all the goodness and truth in the world blew up when those planes hit the World Trade Center. So hearing bin Laden was dead was some sort of closure. Then today, on facebook, I read some of the statuses of my friends from over seas. They didn't share my relief. In fact, they felt very much that this was just one more dead man, more blood on the hands of America. I get where that comes from, I really do. I mean, I am not convinced that our troops in Iraq has ever been a good thing or necessary. I question our foreign policy in so many ways and think that we have always been quick to act in a military stance when it was that we had something to gain. But to read the words of my friends who were equating bin Laden with just so much US propogana...well, to tell you the truth, that hurt a little. I don't expect them to celebrate. I'm not really celebrating this myself. It seems wrong to celebrate someone's death even if he was a terrorist monster. But some understanding would have been nice.

I haven't said anything to these friends yet. Mostly because I just don't know what to say. I certainly don't want to get into some kind of patriotic pissing match with them. That's just not my style. I guess I get tired of always being seen as the "greedy American", the "ugly American", the "War mongering American", the "useless American". It's easy to point the finger at the bad stuff and negate all of the good the US does all over the world. At the very least, on a personal friendly level, give me a break. And let me have this moment of relief.

Nothing like a crack to the head to make you think...

I had a long talk with my brother today. He's still recuperating from his accident. My relationship with my brother is good but I can't remember a time when he and I ever had a serious conversation about anything. Tonight we were talking about his accident. He's still extremely sore, can't sleep lying down because of the pain, and just found out that he does, indeed, have a few fractured ribs which they didn't find until today. The space from his hips to his head is terribly bruised from the impact and his head still throbs and he suffers from an almost constant headache from the serious whack to the windshield he had with his melon.

As he was telling me about this whole experience and recounting seeing what remains of his car, his eyes welled with tears and he told me that what really bothers him about the accident is the complete loss of any memory of it. He says that all he can remember from that whole day was leaving his drive way for work and then later, much later, being unbuckled from the stretcher in the hospital. He told me that for the rest of that day as the doctors tested and scanned and poked and prodded him he just quietly let them do whatever they needed to do and didn't say much to them. He said this was because he couldn't remember anything that he was afraid that he had had a stroke and caused the accident. Even though people around him were telling him that he was the one who was hit, he was still afraid that he had caused this. He couldn't resign himself to that because he couldn't understand why he couldn't remember anything. The Sheriff Deputy who was on the scene of the accident stopped by his hospital room late that night and showed him the accident report and explained to him what had happened. There were two witnesses who gave written statements as to what they had seen and it was only after seeing that and hearing the Deputy that my brother could rest. He ended this conversation quietly saying that he has to get his personal affairs in order because he's realized that life is very tenuous and, just like that, it can be gone.

I think we all live knowing that, of course, one day we will die. It's inevitable. But we don't think that it will happen suddenly and take us before our time. When my father died I remember thinking that he was taken too soon. Even though he was in his 70's and I was well into my 20's, I just felt cheated. I felt that I still didn't have enough time with him. Is there ever really enough time?

All of this got me thinking about those times when I stress about things that I cannot control or complain about some little annoyance that, at the time, consumes me. After speaking with my bro, I realize how silly that is and how precious each moment we have together is and how we all need to teach ourselves again how to be present in the moments of our life and not let outside annoyances take those away.

That long line at the post office, the 30 minutes the cable company puts you on hold, the automated phone answering service that keeps telling you to press one, the rising price of gasoline, the traffic jam, the telemarketer calling, whatever...are all just things that happen and really aren't worth getting worked up about. Life too precious, too valuable and always way too short.