Er...um...

Today has all the makings of a very strange day. I'm at work and feeling a little weird about the fact that the company my agency is contracted by is here interviewing some of my staff for possible future employment. It's a little like getting robbed while not only allowing the thief in but watching him take your stuff! It's hard to know what to feel about that.

I am feeling good about somethings though. Well, actually a lot of things, in spite of the strange presence on site here today. My boss has stood by me throughout all of this change here and has assured me that the agency has need of me and has no intention of letting me go to some other agency. You know that makes me feel good. Knowing that I'm appreciated and how much has been great. I still have no definitive answer as to what I will actually be doing but that will come in time.

Another thing that makes me feel fabulous is knowing that sometime before the end of this year I will be Mrs. Alexander Lindqvist! I ordered a dress for our wedding this weekend and we are making the plans. Well, as much of the plans as we can make without a defnite date. Haha! It occurs to me that the two biggest things going on in my life right now both are hanging in the balance for want of a definite date. We'll get one soon though. We are mere baby steps away from the final approval for the immigration paperwork. Whew...that was a long journey but we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now so it's all good. All good indeed!

Knowing what I want...

These next few months will be challenging. I'll have some major decisions to make which will impact my life immensely. After the events of last week, I spent the weekend deep in thought and going through the seven stages of death. I've now come to acceptance. I accept that I will not be doing this job in the very near future and I accept that I will have to be flexible and work through my options carefully. The problem is that I have no idea what those options may be other than this:

1. Stay at this agency and take whatever position is offered.
2. Leave the agency and start over somewhere else.

It's the "whatever position is offered" and "somewhere else" that are indefinite. I have a lot to consider in making this decision. I need this same basic rate of pay, for one thing. If something comes along that offers me more that would be fine but I can absolutely not go backwards when it comes to salary. Not that I make that much now, it's just that I can get by on what I'm making. I need good benefits too. That's one thing this agency does offer - good health benefits. I don't want to go somewhere where I'd have to start over and wait 6 months for any benefits to kick in. I also want to be local. After 15 years of not commuting to work, having to do that would be a huge hassle.

There are a million other things to consider and I'm sure this will be on mind day and night for a while. Right now I feel a bit anchored...unable to move...since this is all so new. I'm sure, eventually, my wheels will get rolling again.