A time of indecision...

So, my boss presented me with a job option for when this one is over. It's not an offer I'm overly fond of. In fact, without seeming ungrateful, it stinks. It is not in an area that I want to work or will even remotely use my skill set.

So, I have to decide what to do here. Sheesh....

Knowing what I want...

These next few months will be challenging. I'll have some major decisions to make which will impact my life immensely. After the events of last week, I spent the weekend deep in thought and going through the seven stages of death. I've now come to acceptance. I accept that I will not be doing this job in the very near future and I accept that I will have to be flexible and work through my options carefully. The problem is that I have no idea what those options may be other than this:

1. Stay at this agency and take whatever position is offered.
2. Leave the agency and start over somewhere else.

It's the "whatever position is offered" and "somewhere else" that are indefinite. I have a lot to consider in making this decision. I need this same basic rate of pay, for one thing. If something comes along that offers me more that would be fine but I can absolutely not go backwards when it comes to salary. Not that I make that much now, it's just that I can get by on what I'm making. I need good benefits too. That's one thing this agency does offer - good health benefits. I don't want to go somewhere where I'd have to start over and wait 6 months for any benefits to kick in. I also want to be local. After 15 years of not commuting to work, having to do that would be a huge hassle.

There are a million other things to consider and I'm sure this will be on mind day and night for a while. Right now I feel a bit anchored...unable to move...since this is all so new. I'm sure, eventually, my wheels will get rolling again.

Back to the vet...

I woke up this morning and Arnie was still laying in exactly the same spot I left him in the night before. I thought he was dead. He wasn't. I put him on the couch and put the eye drops in his eyes and set him back on the floor. He laid down right where I put him and went back to sleep. In the kitchen I found some vomit. Apparently he did move at some point during the night, if only to vomit.

I called the vet again. He got me in this morning. Arnie plastic cone collar was covered in snot from his almost constant sneezing. His eyes - both of them now - are runny and he is lethargic and not eating or drinking. Yesterday I tried to spoon feed him and he took only one teaspoon of food. At the vet, they weighed him and he's lost two pounds since Monday. He's also dehydrated, running a temp and is constipated.

So they're keeping him overnight. They'll give him some IV fluids and antibiotics and feed him with a syringe and give him an enema to make him poop. The vet wanted to do blood work too but right now I can't afford that so that's on hold at least until I get paid in September. I hate that I had to choose what treatment to do based on what I could afford. I suppose the treatment will make him better but the blood work would have told me exactly what was going on.

I've been researching Arnie's symptoms on the web and they all match something called feline herpes virus. According to what I've read, cats can only get this if exposed to another cat who is a carrier. Arnie has only ever been exposed to one other cat - Brigette. My Brigette is fine - healthy as a horse - but she could be carrying this virus and not show any symptoms. If that's the case, I'll have to make a hard decision on whether or not to keep her. And as if Arnie being sick wasn't breaking my heart, having to give up Brigette will really do me in.