One of those days...

To quote Beck, "I'm a loser,baby, so why don't just kill me."

I'm having one of "those days". You know the ones. The ones where nothing is good enough, or right enough, and it all comes down to me? Yeah, one of those. I don't know but I just feel I've fallen into a mind numbing slump of self loathing. One could say, I'm a real treat to be around today.

Financially, I am a screw up. Money and the management thereof eludes me. Yet I have nothing to show for it. I am not out spending it willy nilly. I haven't made a completely frivolous purchase in a long time. Yet, here I am...always broke and owing someone.

Professionally, I feel depleted. My job has basically become an exercise in biding my time. I don't feel useful. I don't feel all that needed. I put out the occasional fire and that's about it.

I have been taking better care of myself lately so for that I am grateful. But today, in this foul self-pitying mood, I can't even bring myself to go work out. It's my way of "punishing" myself for being so screwed up. Since I feel like a worthless blob I might as well act like one, right?

Maybe I should just go to bed. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Maybe...