Anyone want some left over turkey?

Seriously, anyone? Please?

I once did a song in which I sang "Save me from myself" over and over again in the chorus. For some reason, as I was out amongst the hoards of Black Friday and whatever they call it Saturday shoppers, that one line kept running through my head. I think that means something. Yes, "Hello, my name is Mary and I am a Black Friday shopper." There has to be a 12 step program for that. I don't know what it is that makes me want to get out there with a bajillion other crazed people all hoping to be the one of the first 150 people in line to get the free one inch Winnie the Pooh snow globe. It's frightening. One year they made everyone go to the second floor of the mall for the free thingy and the weight of a thousand people all on the escalator at the same time nearly caused a panic as it stopped and started and lurched all the way up.

Surprisingly, people are not as surly and cold blooded for bargains as the nightly news would have you think. In fact, they are quite cheerful and helpful. There was a crowd that camped outside of the local Best Buy and they were grilling ham and passing out blankets and having a sing-a-long all night. Weird. Must be that holiday spirit I've heard so much about. Whatever it is, I did get some good deals and am now deeply proud to say that I am almost finished with my holiday shopping. If only I was as eager a wrapper as I am a shopper. Papercuts, anyone?

So, about that left over turkey. Seriously...someone, please. Or at least send me some good left over turkey recipes. And if they could include what to do with three day old oyster stuffing, I'd appreciate it. I'd be more than happy to pay the postage to mail this crap to you. I'll even ship internationally.