Crap! I Made A Clean Spot!

I had this brilliant idea to do a world class clean up of my apartment. I mean, a total sandblast, move furniture, wash the carpets type of ordeal. Since this is a place where there used to be two smoker in residence (me being one of them...no longer, I might add. Yes, praise me...I am a quitter!) I decided it was high time to wash the walls. Seemed simple enough...get some cleaning stuff, spray it on, wipe it off. So, I started with all good intentions and for a while it was fine. It was getting clean. But, I soon lost all enthusiasm for the job. (Can you be enthusiastic about washing walls? I'm not so sure.) Anyway, I decided to take a break and then just got occupied with other important stuff like clicking around on the Internet, playing Text Twist and watching 'White Christmas' for the third time in four days. Now I have a big clean spot in the kitchen. See, the dirty walls used to make me feel guilty for not taking care of it earlier but I learned, over time, to shut out the nagging voices and look the other way. Now, those walls are nagging at me louder than ever. That's the trouble with cleaning. You make a clean spot and even though that one small part of the job is finished, the rest of the job seems to grow making me feel even more inadequate a housekeeper as I always feared I was. Ah well...

Getting back to work today after fours days of eating (TURKEY!) and drinking was very hard. I was all kinds of bitter and had some choice words for the alarm clock as it blasted me into consciousness. I understand why we need alarms clocks but I swear if I ever meet the person who invented them I will punch him or her right in the kisser. Everyone at work was on edge because, of course, no one wanted to be there. Eh, soon, very soon I shall have two weeks off to spend with Alex doing nothing more than thinking of what adventure we will have that day. I can't wait!

Just a side note - I took Van's kind advice (at least in part) and banished all remaining turkey from my home. I'm hanging onto the vodka though. That will come in handy later!

Anyone want some left over turkey?

Seriously, anyone? Please?

I once did a song in which I sang "Save me from myself" over and over again in the chorus. For some reason, as I was out amongst the hoards of Black Friday and whatever they call it Saturday shoppers, that one line kept running through my head. I think that means something. Yes, "Hello, my name is Mary and I am a Black Friday shopper." There has to be a 12 step program for that. I don't know what it is that makes me want to get out there with a bajillion other crazed people all hoping to be the one of the first 150 people in line to get the free one inch Winnie the Pooh snow globe. It's frightening. One year they made everyone go to the second floor of the mall for the free thingy and the weight of a thousand people all on the escalator at the same time nearly caused a panic as it stopped and started and lurched all the way up.

Surprisingly, people are not as surly and cold blooded for bargains as the nightly news would have you think. In fact, they are quite cheerful and helpful. There was a crowd that camped outside of the local Best Buy and they were grilling ham and passing out blankets and having a sing-a-long all night. Weird. Must be that holiday spirit I've heard so much about. Whatever it is, I did get some good deals and am now deeply proud to say that I am almost finished with my holiday shopping. If only I was as eager a wrapper as I am a shopper. Papercuts, anyone?

So, about that left over turkey. Seriously...someone, please. Or at least send me some good left over turkey recipes. And if they could include what to do with three day old oyster stuffing, I'd appreciate it. I'd be more than happy to pay the postage to mail this crap to you. I'll even ship internationally.