I always get a little melancholy at this time of year. You see, I love Christmas and all of the anticipation of Christmas...the lights, the tree, the wrappings. There's some magic in it for me even as a grown up. I can even feel it's draw at the New Year. There's still some shine in the tinsel and twinkle in the lights. But now, three days into the New Year, the Christmas lights I see still shining have a sense of desperation to them. They are hanging on in an attempt to hold our memories but, the truth is, we are rushing into the brunt of winter and the longest, coldest days. There are no immediate holidays to look forward to and we just keep plodding along, day to day, in the hopes that soon, there will be light and warmth. Seeing those lights makes me just a bit sad. I hate when the holidays are over.
It doesn't help that tomorrow I start a new job. Same place, different job. One that I am not at all sure of how to do or what to do. I'm feeling stressed about this. I've spent the last 15 years doing something I was good at and known for and now it's all changed and I'm starting at something completely different. I know I am lucky to have a job. And I know I could look at this as some kind of new adventure but the truth is I don't want a new job adventure. I liked my old one very much. I had a great boss and great co-workers and I am pissed that it's all been taken away. I suppose I am a tad resentful that tomorrow I'll go in, at new hours, work with new people, and have to learn everything all over again. It's not making the coming months easier to take, that's for sure.
I'll keep you posted. Maybe it will all turn out for the best. But right now, at midnight the night before I start, it doesn't look too good.
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