Being creative...

What the heck does that even mean, being creative? People tell me I am creative. I've heard that my whole life. At first, it was very flattering until I started to wonder exactly what they meant by that. At it's basest definition, being creative means being able to create...something. Everyone has the ability to do that. If you can make a sandwich you are creative. So, I came to realize that they probably weren't using that term in that form.


So, when someone says, "Wow, you're creative!" What does that mean? Is that a compliment? Do they really mean to say they like whatever it is I've created and they just don't know how to say that? Or do they not really know what to say about what I've created so they use it as a general statement or form of appreciation of some sort.

I know that I have certain talents, some more refined than others, but all equally give me inner pleasure. But I have days, weeks, months when I don't feel like I have one single creative cell in my body and I sit in a funk feeling like a hack who couldn't "create" her way out of a paper bag. I am my own worst critic so I dread actually sharing my art, music, writing with others because I fear what they will say. Oh, I have shared some but only what I have determined will be met with compliments or a kind "Wow, you are so creative!" because then I don't have to face the fear that maybe I am not as talented as I want to be.

Creativity really is within each one of us. I really believe that over time we learn to push it down into the deep recesses and then, over time, lose it altogether. It's a shame really. We all need to own a box of crayons and some clean white paper. We need to let that kindergartener who used to love to color out again. We need to be creative...whatever that means to each of us.

I know I do.