Letting go of history...

We all have, in our pasts, those things we look back on and think, "What were we thinking?" For some, those moments are especially life changing and often dangerous. For some of the people we serve in our agency, some of those moments have been horrible. People living with co-morbidity, which is co-occurring diagnoses, of mental illness and addiction, the addiction often overshadows any achievements later in life. People tend to remember the times when someone is "out of their  minds" on crack cocaine, alcohol or other drugs. People tend to remember the times someone spent incarcerated or hospitalized and no matter what the someone may accomplish later in life, people tend to remember.

Living down the actions of the past can be one of the most difficult things someone living with a mental illness has to face. For some people, the adage is "once an addict, always an addict" and, while that may be true in principle, it does not always hold true in actions. Even among mental health professionals it is difficult to let go of the past and trust that the person has grown beyond that destructive behavior. Sadly, it's true that sometimes the individual has been told so many times that they are nothing and worthless because of their addictive actions that they "live up" to that reputation by believing it themselves. I deal with a lot of people who are taken off guard to find someone who listens to them with judgement and who doesn't hold their past against them. It floors me that I have adults who have never had anyone in their  lives to tell them they are unique, capable individuals who can accomplish whatever they put their  minds to. I grew up in a family where that was the norm so to see so many broken people who've never heard that is disheartening.

If we were all judged solely by our past actions, there would be many of us who would always hang our heads in shame. But the truth is - people can and do change. People can learn from their past experiences and move forward using that knowledge to make their lives better. Notice I did not say past mistakes nor did I say they should forget. I don't believe in mistakes. I think we make choices in life and sometimes those choices have very negative consequences like going to prison or getting divorced or losing your kids. All things that can break a person and sometimes  cannot be remedied. There are no guarantees in life - only choices. The key is to learn how to live with the choices we make. And to move beyond them. Kicking an addiction has to be the hardest endeavor ever. People don't understand that it is not a matter of simply quitting. There is so much underlying psychological baggage that has to be address as well as the actual physical need the body maintains. It hurts to detox. Rehab is hard. There are sometimes very hard circumstances to be faced. There are trauma issues that need to addressed and all of this takes not just will power but deep resolve and a support team that will be there unconditionally. Not many people have that. It takes bravery beyond description and if the person has a co-occurring diagnosis, like schizophrenia for example, there also has to be effective mental health treatment. What there doesn't need to be is someone making judgements or holding past actions against them! They need to know that they can let go of their past and until we can let go of their past that just won't happen.