I have one more day of physical therapy left and then I am done. I have two more follow up appointments left and then I am done. I have one more week of being part time at work and then I am back to full time. I have reached the end of the tunnel and it feels great.
So, what have I learned...
1. I am a big scaredy cat sometimes but I don't let that stop me. It's true. My biggest flaw is my own inner fear that I will fail or hurt or do something I should not. I catch myself saying "I can't" first but then I steel myself and TRY and more often than not I succeed and realize there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. It's how I got through therapy. I was afraid of the pain but it was never as bad as I thought it would be. I pushed through and succeeded.
2. I have a very high tolerance for pain. I never thought I did. Before this, my family would have told you I was a big baby when it came to pain but I really do have a high tolerance. My therapist told me I have the highest tolerance of anyone she's ever worked with. I've never reported pain higher than a 5 on a scale of 1 - 10 post surgery. And I haven't used up my full prescription of pain killers yet a full two months after surgery. Ice packs work just fine for me!
3. I'm stronger than I think I am. In therapy, I've been asked to do things - physical things - that I didn't think I could ever do. And I've done them all with determination and each time they were easier to do. I had thought that this kind of physical activity was not something I would be able to do ever again and I'm happy to say I was so wrong!
4. I yearn to be independent. Don't get me wrong, it's great to be taken care of and know that someone is there for you - for a while. But after a time, I long to do things for myself and want to do more. Simple things like bathing! Not having a shower in the house is a pain in the butt because I can't physically get down in the tub and have to rely on Alex to get this huge bath chair in the tub. I LONG to have an easier way to do it myself. It will happen. It's frustrating but I know I'll get there. It is nice to know that I would never want to be totally dependent on another person if I didn't absolutely have to.
5. I am loved. My family has been so awesome throughout all of this. My sister Patsy has been driving me to therapy three times per week and when she was on vacation my other sister stepped in and did it. Patsy also takes me to the doctor. The time she's spent hauling me around has been amazing. My brother in law, a very stoic guy, has made sure that our porch and front walk way has been snow and ice free every single day I needed to go out. He's been out there to help me down the stairs and has always been looking out for me. My other sister Terry, who's going through some health issues of her own, talks to me nightly to check in to see how I'm doing. Lastly, my husband...man, what can I say about him? He has been my rock. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, assisting me, taking care of literally every aspect of our lives all while working full time and going to school. He's an amazing man. And I love him forever, my sweet Alexander. I would never have been able to have gone through this without him.
So, it's onward. The interesting news is I will have to do this all over again one day when I get the other knee replaced! Ha! I'm not signing up for that just yet though. I am letting this one heal some more and getting on with this big, crazy wonderful life!
No comments:
Post a Comment