I have cancer...

Yup, there...I've said it.

Last week,  I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. This came after about 8 months of unusual bleeding that would not stop. I had some tests, a PAP, a pelvic ultrasound, and later a D&C which was all sent for a biopsy and voila...uterine cancer.

The day before Thanksgiving I went to Froedtert Hospital and met with my "team" - an amazing group of specialist headed by Dr. Erin Bishop who will be treating me. I do back on Dec. 4 to get my pre-op work up done and meet my anesthetists and then on Dec. 8th I will have a complete hysterectomy and have my lymph nodes removed. Now, having said all that I will also say this - my cancer was caught very, very early. So early Dr. Bishop could not even give it a "stage". It is earlier than Stage 0 which means there are mostly precancerous cells and only a few cancerous cells noticeable. There is a very slight chance that the cancer could have spread but it's a very slight chance and if they find that it did I may have to have some radiation treatment. Dr. Bishop doesn't think that's going to be the case though.

I am optimistic. But, honestly, when you sit in a room and a doctor tells you that you have cancer your heart stops for a moment. Your brain shuts down. It's cancer. It's that unknown monster that somehow started growing inside you somewhere when you weren't paying attention and no one can really tell you how or why and if you hadn't found it it would have just kept growing and eating away at you until it was too late. You would be dead. Cancer, even when they catch it early, makes you think.

My cancer made me think that there is a lot of stuff I would rather be doing with my life. I think I have led a good life. I know that what I do for a living could be seen as something good - something that helps people. I feel good about that. But I'm also a bit selfishly tired of helping other people all the time. I have a dream to help animals. I know that sounds weird, but I do. I would love to foster animals or run a rescue or something, if I could. Maybe I never will, but it's a good dream. I also want to draw more. I love to draw...and I have been doing more. Little drawings, insignificant things just for me. There's something soothing about watching a black line of ink connect onto itself and wander around a blank page until it forms into something interesting and wonderful. I love that.

I know that I'll be fine and get through this health bump in the road in no time. Cancer is not my end. Just my detour...and maybe the wake up to something different for me. Who knows!