Yup, there...I've said it.
Last week, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. This came after about 8 months of unusual bleeding that would not stop. I had some tests, a PAP, a pelvic ultrasound, and later a D&C which was all sent for a biopsy and voila...uterine cancer.
The day before Thanksgiving I went to Froedtert Hospital and met with my "team" - an amazing group of specialist headed by Dr. Erin Bishop who will be treating me. I do back on Dec. 4 to get my pre-op work up done and meet my anesthetists and then on Dec. 8th I will have a complete hysterectomy and have my lymph nodes removed. Now, having said all that I will also say this - my cancer was caught very, very early. So early Dr. Bishop could not even give it a "stage". It is earlier than Stage 0 which means there are mostly precancerous cells and only a few cancerous cells noticeable. There is a very slight chance that the cancer could have spread but it's a very slight chance and if they find that it did I may have to have some radiation treatment. Dr. Bishop doesn't think that's going to be the case though.
I am optimistic. But, honestly, when you sit in a room and a doctor tells you that you have cancer your heart stops for a moment. Your brain shuts down. It's cancer. It's that unknown monster that somehow started growing inside you somewhere when you weren't paying attention and no one can really tell you how or why and if you hadn't found it it would have just kept growing and eating away at you until it was too late. You would be dead. Cancer, even when they catch it early, makes you think.
My cancer made me think that there is a lot of stuff I would rather be doing with my life. I think I have led a good life. I know that what I do for a living could be seen as something good - something that helps people. I feel good about that. But I'm also a bit selfishly tired of helping other people all the time. I have a dream to help animals. I know that sounds weird, but I do. I would love to foster animals or run a rescue or something, if I could. Maybe I never will, but it's a good dream. I also want to draw more. I love to draw...and I have been doing more. Little drawings, insignificant things just for me. There's something soothing about watching a black line of ink connect onto itself and wander around a blank page until it forms into something interesting and wonderful. I love that.
I know that I'll be fine and get through this health bump in the road in no time. Cancer is not my end. Just my detour...and maybe the wake up to something different for me. Who knows!
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Saturday, November 28, 2015
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
What a week!
Last week was a whirlwind of excitement and emotion for me. So many things happening at once and though some were harrowing, all ended up being overwhelmingly positive. Let me explain...
As some of you know, for the past several months I have been struggling with some very annoying health issues that have left me tired and feeling crappy for a long time. Those issues have now thankfully resolved. I still have one issue to deal with - a swollen optic nerve - but that too will be resolved soon and it really doesn't bother me at all so I can't really say I'm struggling with it. Now that I'm feeling better, I also decided to apply for a great new job with tons more responsibility and I got it! I was told last week and I'm really psyched about that! While all of this was going on, my husband convinced me to sing at our agency's 40th Anniversary Celebration which took place this past Saturday. I haven't sung in front of people in a very, very long time. We chose some 13 or so songs and another co-worker played guitar. We rehearsed for over a month and, finally, the day arrived. In spite of my sheer terror, we did really well. We sounded pretty damn good and I got a lot of compliments on my voice too.
While I was doing all of that, I discovered that one of my sisters was in the ER. She was having some horrible chest and upper back pain and thought she was having a heart attack. The doctor poked and prodded her back and hit the right spot which nearly sent her through the ceiling. He quickly diagnosed her with some kind of scapular nerve damage and gave her a steroid, a shot of Novocaine, a pain patch and some Vicadin for later. She felt better almost immediately. She was worried because her daughter, my beautiful niece Jenna, was graduating from Marquette University on Tuesday and she thought she would miss it. But she didn't. The proud mama saw her baby graduate with honors.
So, with all the nerves and ups and worries and downs and ups again, by Saturday night I was ready to CHILL OUT! Which I did. And it felt good.
Side note - Everyone should have a CPAP machine even if they don't have sleep apnea. Seriously, pure oxygen while you sleep makes you feel fantastic in the morning! I don't think I've had this much damn energy since I was a toddler!
As some of you know, for the past several months I have been struggling with some very annoying health issues that have left me tired and feeling crappy for a long time. Those issues have now thankfully resolved. I still have one issue to deal with - a swollen optic nerve - but that too will be resolved soon and it really doesn't bother me at all so I can't really say I'm struggling with it. Now that I'm feeling better, I also decided to apply for a great new job with tons more responsibility and I got it! I was told last week and I'm really psyched about that! While all of this was going on, my husband convinced me to sing at our agency's 40th Anniversary Celebration which took place this past Saturday. I haven't sung in front of people in a very, very long time. We chose some 13 or so songs and another co-worker played guitar. We rehearsed for over a month and, finally, the day arrived. In spite of my sheer terror, we did really well. We sounded pretty damn good and I got a lot of compliments on my voice too.
While I was doing all of that, I discovered that one of my sisters was in the ER. She was having some horrible chest and upper back pain and thought she was having a heart attack. The doctor poked and prodded her back and hit the right spot which nearly sent her through the ceiling. He quickly diagnosed her with some kind of scapular nerve damage and gave her a steroid, a shot of Novocaine, a pain patch and some Vicadin for later. She felt better almost immediately. She was worried because her daughter, my beautiful niece Jenna, was graduating from Marquette University on Tuesday and she thought she would miss it. But she didn't. The proud mama saw her baby graduate with honors.
So, with all the nerves and ups and worries and downs and ups again, by Saturday night I was ready to CHILL OUT! Which I did. And it felt good.
Side note - Everyone should have a CPAP machine even if they don't have sleep apnea. Seriously, pure oxygen while you sleep makes you feel fantastic in the morning! I don't think I've had this much damn energy since I was a toddler!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
My week from hell...
In the continuing saga of my on-going health issues, this week has topped them all. Even more than last week and last week I had a colonoscopy!
On Saturday, I went in for a routine eye exam. I wear glasses so I go every other year. Everything was going well until the doc called me back after dilating my eyes and said "It looks like your optic nerve is swollen." Seriously? What the hell else could go wrong? I had to go back to him on the following Monday to take a field of vision test. Basically, it's a test where you look into this machine and click a clicker every time you see a flash in your peripheral vision. It takes about a half hour. Afterwards, the they printed my results and it turns out I have no peripheral vision in my right eye when I look to the left or down. Nothing. Missed every single flash. Who knew? So, this doc makes an immediate appointment for an ophthalmologist.
So, on Friday I go to see the new guy and he has me do the same test over again. Then he takes a picture of the backside of my eyes. He shows me my optic nerve. On the left eye, it's all round and nice looking and healthy. On the right, not so much. The outside line is all distorted and mangled. He tells me that it could be fluid or a small tumor or there could be some other underlying reason like Lyme Disease or MS but that he can't tell anything until I have an MRI which, he says, I have to do right away.
So, on Tuesday, I am off to Kenosha Radiology to get an MRI. Now I've had an MRI before and one thing I learned is that I have to have what's called an "open" MRI. A regular MRI closes you in a tiny small space and when they tried to do that to me the first time I completely freaked out. So this time I made sure it was open. Open means you are in something that looks more like a donut rather than a tube and you can see the room and daylight when you need to. The technician strapped my head into this basket type thing and that was strapped down to the table. I was not allowed to move at all. My feet were elevated and my arms placed on pillows to get me as comfortable as possible. I was given a call button in case I needed her to stop at any time. So it began. I was given ear plugs and there's a reason for that. MRI's are very, very loud. The machine makes an incessant pounding noise that goes on for some time. The first part of the test took about an hour with a few stops in between. Then she injected me with some dye and we did it all over again. This is called "with contrast". Contrast is the orange dye that goes through your veins and gives the doc a different view of what might be going on. Two hours later, I was done.
Today, I get to go see yet another new doc. This time for a consult for a possible sleep study. I might have sleep apnea. Might not. Just another silly test my primary doc wants me to go through.
On Friday, I go back to the ophthalmologist to get the results of the MRI. Next week I have yet another new doc to see and then a follow up with my primary. This has been the most annoying carousel ride I have ever been on! I want to get off...NOW!
On Saturday, I went in for a routine eye exam. I wear glasses so I go every other year. Everything was going well until the doc called me back after dilating my eyes and said "It looks like your optic nerve is swollen." Seriously? What the hell else could go wrong? I had to go back to him on the following Monday to take a field of vision test. Basically, it's a test where you look into this machine and click a clicker every time you see a flash in your peripheral vision. It takes about a half hour. Afterwards, the they printed my results and it turns out I have no peripheral vision in my right eye when I look to the left or down. Nothing. Missed every single flash. Who knew? So, this doc makes an immediate appointment for an ophthalmologist.
So, on Friday I go to see the new guy and he has me do the same test over again. Then he takes a picture of the backside of my eyes. He shows me my optic nerve. On the left eye, it's all round and nice looking and healthy. On the right, not so much. The outside line is all distorted and mangled. He tells me that it could be fluid or a small tumor or there could be some other underlying reason like Lyme Disease or MS but that he can't tell anything until I have an MRI which, he says, I have to do right away.
So, on Tuesday, I am off to Kenosha Radiology to get an MRI. Now I've had an MRI before and one thing I learned is that I have to have what's called an "open" MRI. A regular MRI closes you in a tiny small space and when they tried to do that to me the first time I completely freaked out. So this time I made sure it was open. Open means you are in something that looks more like a donut rather than a tube and you can see the room and daylight when you need to. The technician strapped my head into this basket type thing and that was strapped down to the table. I was not allowed to move at all. My feet were elevated and my arms placed on pillows to get me as comfortable as possible. I was given a call button in case I needed her to stop at any time. So it began. I was given ear plugs and there's a reason for that. MRI's are very, very loud. The machine makes an incessant pounding noise that goes on for some time. The first part of the test took about an hour with a few stops in between. Then she injected me with some dye and we did it all over again. This is called "with contrast". Contrast is the orange dye that goes through your veins and gives the doc a different view of what might be going on. Two hours later, I was done.
Today, I get to go see yet another new doc. This time for a consult for a possible sleep study. I might have sleep apnea. Might not. Just another silly test my primary doc wants me to go through.
On Friday, I go back to the ophthalmologist to get the results of the MRI. Next week I have yet another new doc to see and then a follow up with my primary. This has been the most annoying carousel ride I have ever been on! I want to get off...NOW!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Being light hearted about a serious subject...
Colonoscopy. There, I've said it. It's an ugly word but a necessary thing and at some point in all of our lives we must go through one. Today is my day.
Let me back up. So, I've been having various and sundry health issues for the past few months. My doc, covering all the bases and not one to shrink away from any possible treatment, has set me up with a barrage of tests. I have a sleep study coming up, a pap smear, a mammogram, a nutritionist teaching session, and more blood tests. This past week I had a consult for a colonoscopy.
The doctor I was referred to came highly recommended from many other people so I felt fairly confident this was going to be good. I arrived a little early for my appointment but they got me right in which is always a good sign. I hate waiting for doctors who over book their days. I was shown to a tiny exam room and asked to wait on the exam table. Now, being a person of some size, I can tell you those table are not safe unless you are 5'3" and weigh 98 lbs. So I was teetering on the table and waiting and looking around. Right next to my head, on the wall, was a life sized photographic poster of a diseased digestive system. It was horrendous! This thing had pustules and festering blisters and polyps and ew....it was gross. They could have put it someone else and not quite as close as it was.
Finally the doc came in. Now, you know those animals in nature that spend all of their time digging under ground so they never really get proper eyesight? This is what the doc looks like. He has a bad perm in his hair, thick glasses and tiny little eyes with which he never make eye contact. When he shakes my hand he more or less just places his cold, clammy hand in mind and leaves the shaking part to me. It was not a good first impression. He asked me some mundane questions about my bowel movements and then he sent me off to his nurse who sent me home with a gallon jug of GoLytely and a prescription for some pills I had to take.
On Saturday, I took the first pill and had to drink one bottle of Magnesium Citrate. This was to start the cleansing off right. And boy howdy! Did it ever! The next day, in the afternoon, I had to drink 2/3 of the gallon of GOLytely. This was done with the aid of lots of Crystal light and not without a lot of cursing and retching. There has got to be a better way to do this because this way really, really sucks. When I wasn't retching I was in the bathroom and the cycle repeated itself again and again. Finally about 9pm everything settled down. I went to bed. I had to get up at 2:30am to start the whole thing over again.
So, soon I am off to have the procedure done. I will never be so happy to know that something is DONE once and for all. Never doing this again....I swear!
Let me back up. So, I've been having various and sundry health issues for the past few months. My doc, covering all the bases and not one to shrink away from any possible treatment, has set me up with a barrage of tests. I have a sleep study coming up, a pap smear, a mammogram, a nutritionist teaching session, and more blood tests. This past week I had a consult for a colonoscopy.
The doctor I was referred to came highly recommended from many other people so I felt fairly confident this was going to be good. I arrived a little early for my appointment but they got me right in which is always a good sign. I hate waiting for doctors who over book their days. I was shown to a tiny exam room and asked to wait on the exam table. Now, being a person of some size, I can tell you those table are not safe unless you are 5'3" and weigh 98 lbs. So I was teetering on the table and waiting and looking around. Right next to my head, on the wall, was a life sized photographic poster of a diseased digestive system. It was horrendous! This thing had pustules and festering blisters and polyps and ew....it was gross. They could have put it someone else and not quite as close as it was.
Finally the doc came in. Now, you know those animals in nature that spend all of their time digging under ground so they never really get proper eyesight? This is what the doc looks like. He has a bad perm in his hair, thick glasses and tiny little eyes with which he never make eye contact. When he shakes my hand he more or less just places his cold, clammy hand in mind and leaves the shaking part to me. It was not a good first impression. He asked me some mundane questions about my bowel movements and then he sent me off to his nurse who sent me home with a gallon jug of GoLytely and a prescription for some pills I had to take.
On Saturday, I took the first pill and had to drink one bottle of Magnesium Citrate. This was to start the cleansing off right. And boy howdy! Did it ever! The next day, in the afternoon, I had to drink 2/3 of the gallon of GOLytely. This was done with the aid of lots of Crystal light and not without a lot of cursing and retching. There has got to be a better way to do this because this way really, really sucks. When I wasn't retching I was in the bathroom and the cycle repeated itself again and again. Finally about 9pm everything settled down. I went to bed. I had to get up at 2:30am to start the whole thing over again.
So, soon I am off to have the procedure done. I will never be so happy to know that something is DONE once and for all. Never doing this again....I swear!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Large and in charge...
Okay, it's time for me to take charge.
Over the past month or so I've felt like shit. Sorry for putting it so frankly but there it is. I feel like shit. I know that 99% of the reason why is that I am overweight. Now, I've been overweight for most of my life. I've always been the fat girl in school, the fat girl in college, the fat girl in the neighborhood - just the fat girl. I've struggled with finding clothing that both fits me and is good looking. I've hated and loved myself at the same time. I would like to be one of those women who embraces her curves but the truth is, I am not. I am the fat chick in the corner screaming for an end to this madness.
Since I've been this way for so long I've become a Master at masking my feelings. I've also come to know my body pretty well and know when something ain't right. And this isn't right. I'm short of breath and having chronic sinus issues. I'm exhausted most of the time and falling asleep just about everywhere I sit for too long, including at this keyboard.Seriously, I can sleep soundly for 9 hours, get up for an hour and fall right back go sleep. My knee hurts more than it should in spite of having arthritis and standing for a long time just about kills me!
So, my new year's resolution is simply this...
I'm making an appointment to get a physical. I'm going to follow my doctor's orders to a T and figure out what's going wrong with me. And then...I'm going to get better.
Over the past month or so I've felt like shit. Sorry for putting it so frankly but there it is. I feel like shit. I know that 99% of the reason why is that I am overweight. Now, I've been overweight for most of my life. I've always been the fat girl in school, the fat girl in college, the fat girl in the neighborhood - just the fat girl. I've struggled with finding clothing that both fits me and is good looking. I've hated and loved myself at the same time. I would like to be one of those women who embraces her curves but the truth is, I am not. I am the fat chick in the corner screaming for an end to this madness.
Since I've been this way for so long I've become a Master at masking my feelings. I've also come to know my body pretty well and know when something ain't right. And this isn't right. I'm short of breath and having chronic sinus issues. I'm exhausted most of the time and falling asleep just about everywhere I sit for too long, including at this keyboard.Seriously, I can sleep soundly for 9 hours, get up for an hour and fall right back go sleep. My knee hurts more than it should in spite of having arthritis and standing for a long time just about kills me!
So, my new year's resolution is simply this...
I'm making an appointment to get a physical. I'm going to follow my doctor's orders to a T and figure out what's going wrong with me. And then...I'm going to get better.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
My Laundry List...
So, summer is pretty well over and I'm faced with having an MRI done on my right shoulder which has been a sonofabitch all summer long. Bone spurs, they say. I was sent to physical therapy for it but that damn near killed me because the pain just kept getting worse. So, hi ho hi ho it's off to the MRI I go!
This summer has been a strange series of what I will refer as My Laundry List of Health Related Crap That I Had to Deal With.
It all started with my right knee. Now, for the past I don't know how many years, I have had pain in my left knee. It stems from a car accident when I was a kid and now I have arthritis in that knee. Plus, the knee cap isn't exactly all there so it aches most of the time and especially if it's going to rain. A couple of Alleve and I'm good. But earlier this summer, my right knee...the good one...started aching and throbbing and swelling up to the point where walking was a bitch! I went to an orthopedic doc and after some x-rays he tells me that I have some arthritis in that knee too but the pain is actually at the opposite side of the knee and is from over compensating for the afflicted side. So, I was sent to water therapy. It worked great! I learned exercises I could do at home and spent a lot of time in a super heated pool strengthening the muscles around my knee and it's perfect now! No pain!
Shortly after that happened, my arm began hurting. At first it was a dull ache which seemed to be mostly in my wrist. I had been treated for carpal tunnel a long time ago and I really thought it had just come back. Gradually the pain increased and was now a stabbing pain in my upper arm. Reaching for anything was painful! And it really did feel like someone was stabbing me! I iced it and took more Alleve and used my wrist brace. Then I went to Sweden for two weeks.
While I was there the pain kept on and it was getting worse. Additionally, while I was there I got an infected toe. A really ugly seriously infected toe. I had a small blister on my toe and made the stupid mistake of walking around my father-in-laws bathroom as I helped clean up some water that was flooding it. Turned out the water was coming from the sewage pipe and my toe was hot, red, swollen and oozing. I was scared I might get blood poisoning. Luckily, we had some disinfectant, antibiotic ointment and alcohol wipes so I just kept cleaning it well, and kept it bandaged. By the time we flew home it was healing nicely but my arm was acting up badly.
Once home, I knew, I had to see the doc. I was sent for x-rays. Bone spurs, they said. I was sent to therapy again. Every time I did my therapy I would not be able to do another single thing all night. I would be in so much pain that I could just sit and ice it and whimper. That night I would be not be able to sleep because any movement would cause the stabbing pain again. At work, I was unable to do much of anything and I work at a desk, for crying out loud! After two weeks, I called the doc again. I begged him to do something else and so...this Saturday...I will have the MRI.
Whatever this is, I will do whatever it takes to not be in this pain. I don't like taking medications so I'm not going to even try pain killers. I want this ordeal to be over with and I want my damn arm back again! All summer long I had health issues to deal with and I'm sick and tired of it. I don't want to head into Autumn with this hanging on! Enough already!
This summer has been a strange series of what I will refer as My Laundry List of Health Related Crap That I Had to Deal With.
It all started with my right knee. Now, for the past I don't know how many years, I have had pain in my left knee. It stems from a car accident when I was a kid and now I have arthritis in that knee. Plus, the knee cap isn't exactly all there so it aches most of the time and especially if it's going to rain. A couple of Alleve and I'm good. But earlier this summer, my right knee...the good one...started aching and throbbing and swelling up to the point where walking was a bitch! I went to an orthopedic doc and after some x-rays he tells me that I have some arthritis in that knee too but the pain is actually at the opposite side of the knee and is from over compensating for the afflicted side. So, I was sent to water therapy. It worked great! I learned exercises I could do at home and spent a lot of time in a super heated pool strengthening the muscles around my knee and it's perfect now! No pain!
Shortly after that happened, my arm began hurting. At first it was a dull ache which seemed to be mostly in my wrist. I had been treated for carpal tunnel a long time ago and I really thought it had just come back. Gradually the pain increased and was now a stabbing pain in my upper arm. Reaching for anything was painful! And it really did feel like someone was stabbing me! I iced it and took more Alleve and used my wrist brace. Then I went to Sweden for two weeks.
While I was there the pain kept on and it was getting worse. Additionally, while I was there I got an infected toe. A really ugly seriously infected toe. I had a small blister on my toe and made the stupid mistake of walking around my father-in-laws bathroom as I helped clean up some water that was flooding it. Turned out the water was coming from the sewage pipe and my toe was hot, red, swollen and oozing. I was scared I might get blood poisoning. Luckily, we had some disinfectant, antibiotic ointment and alcohol wipes so I just kept cleaning it well, and kept it bandaged. By the time we flew home it was healing nicely but my arm was acting up badly.
Once home, I knew, I had to see the doc. I was sent for x-rays. Bone spurs, they said. I was sent to therapy again. Every time I did my therapy I would not be able to do another single thing all night. I would be in so much pain that I could just sit and ice it and whimper. That night I would be not be able to sleep because any movement would cause the stabbing pain again. At work, I was unable to do much of anything and I work at a desk, for crying out loud! After two weeks, I called the doc again. I begged him to do something else and so...this Saturday...I will have the MRI.
Whatever this is, I will do whatever it takes to not be in this pain. I don't like taking medications so I'm not going to even try pain killers. I want this ordeal to be over with and I want my damn arm back again! All summer long I had health issues to deal with and I'm sick and tired of it. I don't want to head into Autumn with this hanging on! Enough already!
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