And so it goes...

So, my health issues continue on in a way that is both worrisome and frustrating. Worrisome because I feel like crap every day. My overall fatigue and weakness is wearing me down. I feel stupid and weak and even the easiest things, like opening a bottle, breaks me down. The frustration comes in from all of this. I don't feel sick. Not sick in a usual way. Just overall icky and weak and it makes me so frustrated to not be able to just get up and go to work or out of the house. Putting on socks and shoes takes forever. I go to the doc on Monday so hopefully I'll find out soon what the heck is doing on. I'm hoping it's something that is easily remedied. Keeping my fingers crossed.


On the fun side, I've run across this video blog called "Emmy Eats..." and it's so fun! Emmy is Chinese American who gets packages of snacks sent to her from around the world. She has many global viewers so these things come all over the place. She's very adventurous. Some of the things she get, especially from the Asian countries, are very strange. Shrimp chips, squid bark, chocolate bugs...but she eats them all with zeal. Watching back to back blogs I actually got hungry for some of the old fashioned candies she was sent. Things like "Flying Saucers" - probably one of my favorites of all time. She also had a Sky Bar which I didn't even think they made any more. So I did a little research. I googled "old fashioned candy" and BAM there was a site that had it all. So, $50 later, I'm eagerly awaiting my delivery of some of my old favorites. $20 of which is all "Flying Saucers". LOL I think I ordered a case of 200 of them! I can't wait until it gets here!

Thinking of the candy I ate when I was a kid makes me happy. And it takes my mind off the worry and frustration I feel otherwise. Fingers crossed...

The view from my office door...

is making me sad.

It is the sister of a friend of mine who is really struggling right now with her illness.

She is a beautiful woman, usually bright eyes, personable, gifted in that she sings like an angel and is a talented actress.

Right now, she's wearing dirty clothes, her stomach handing out over her pants, her hair unwashed and her eyes dull.

If she would accept she has an illness and work to manage it so she could have a quality of life she would become that bright eyed, talented woman again. But she doesn't and so she won't.

I've known her since high school and seeing her like this and not being able to help breaks my heart. It really does.

Pappan!

My cat Arnie, who we affectionately sometimes call Pappan for reasons we're not even sure of, is sick. This is the second time in his life with me that he's been ill. Having gone through this once with him already, you'd think I would not be as worried and emotional as I am. But I've also been through this with our other kitty, Bridgitte, who passed away. So I get a little worried when my beloveds are ill.

Chances are he has a cold. But it's tricky with cats because cold like symptoms can mask so many other things. The last time he looked like he had a cold and it was a bowel obstruction. Go figure that out!

Right now, he's sleeping and he has been for over 12 hours. While cats are master sleepers and Arnie is a pro at sleeping, 12 hours straight without even an occasional stretch is not normal. I called his regular vet, Dr. Khan, who I really like but he can't see him until 4pm today. That's too long to wait. I called another vet and he's getting us in at 10am. I hate to switch like that but I don't want Arnie to continue to get worse.

I don't have kids, I have cats. And they are as precious to me as anything I have. Arnie is special to me. For a while, it was just him and me here. We have a special bond. So seeing him ill and just not feeling well is worrisome. And terribly sad.

I love my little Pappan! I hope he feels better soon.

The great audit...

This week we have been preparting for an audit by the state. They're looking at 8 of our cases. Of course, they managed to pick 8 of the cases that were in the worst shape paperwork - wise. My teams have been kicking butt and getting this stuff together for the past two days. We only got the names of the cases on Monday. Stress level around here is a 15 out of a possible 10 but we're all hanging in. I'm sure we're going to run into some issues but it is what it is so there's not much else we can do. When a program runs at about a 95% paperwork saturated rate, there's bound to be something missed.

On the brightside, all of this has made the spirit of comeraderie here quite pleasant. People who previously couldn't stand one another are now working side by side and getting along. So maybe some good will come of this after all. At least we'll all get along when we're out on the unemployment line.

I watched the debate last night. Yeah...so...I did...and that's about all I can say about it. McCain seems to be very disconnected from the real world. Okay, THAT'S all I'll say about it.

I've been staving off a cold or something for about a week now. I can't be sick now. I am willing myself not to get this whatever it is. Each weekend though, I sleep forever and feel like hell. When this audit is over, I'll probably crash for a day or two but until then it's zinc tabs, juice, and echinechea for me. I'm about chicken souped out though. I've had that for dinner for three days running...and I do mean running. 'nuf said...

I feel like crap today...

It's nothing I won't get over but still I feel like crap. More than my own ickiness, I'm worried about Arnie. I've had him to the vet and have been giving him eye drops and a food supplement but there's no change and he seems worse. This conjunctivitis appears to be more than what it is. I've been researching cat eye health and this looks like feline herpes virus which they say is caused by stress. Nothing has changed here in his life except the introduction of my new(er) cat, Brigette and if she's what's causing his stress I don't know what to do.

What's worse is he's getting really cranky now and refusing to let me near his eyes even to just clean them. I'm calling the vet today and even though I'm sick I'll have to get him in there. I feel so bad for the little guy because he wants to come to me for some petting and loving but now he's afraid that I'll be poking around his eyes each time so he's keeping his distance. I can't stand to see him just laying about so miserably. It breaks my heart. I just hope that the vet can do something that will clear this up and I sincerely hope it will not involve me having to hold him down against his will and put stuff in his eyes.