Old friends revisited...

I had my day out with my old college friends. No matter how much time passes, we pick up right where we left off and it's as if we were never apart. I can honestly say I love these guys. We met at Linnea Bakery for coffee and sweet rolls. It was a beautiful sunny day so we sat outside and the laughing began. I never laugh as much as when I'm with these guys! We ended up sitting there for quite some time and before we knew it  it was time to go to Parkside. I had arranged for a tour of the new theatre. Another old, dear friend who now works at Parkside met us and was our tour guide. Wow! Has UW - Parkside changed. The main theatre is still there and still looks great but there is a new smaller space too and two or three rehearsal spaces. The costume shop, where I spent many long hours, is no longer in the basement but has a beautiful new main floor home. It was awesome!

After our tour we headed back downtown and had a drink at the new Rustic Road Brewery. I had a killer Bloody Mary! Soon, it was time for dinner so we headed over to Ashling on the Lough for some authentic Irish food. This is probably my favorite restaurant in town. We were going to go to the Hob Nob but at the last minute they decided it might be too expensive so we changed it up. At Ashling, my god, we laughed. These guys are the more naturally funny people I know. I had tears in my eyes from laughter.

Next time, we hope more of the group can make it. We're going to pick a date and hope it's far enough in advance that everyone can be there. In the meantime, I have some great memories and Sunday just added to them. Old friends are really the best.

Ups and Downs...

Today is National Down Syndrome Day.

I started my career in human services as a "teaching parent" which is a title unique to the agency I work for. We are a national trainer for a technique called the Teaching Family Model which is a very effective way to teach life and communication skills to people who lack them. As a "teaching parent", I was hired to work with adults with developmental disabilities in their own home and assist them on a daily basis to learn the skills they needed to get by day to day. Because of the severity of their developmental delays, these guys needed 24 supervision and care but there was much they could and did learn to do for themselves. This first job gave me a solid understanding of Down Syndrome and the nature of that disorder.

Down Syndrome is a disorder from birth that has overall the same characteristics for everyone who has it. Though the degree of their retardation may vary they share some physical attributes that make Down Syndrome easily identifiable. Usually, their heads are slightly smaller. They may have shorter fingers and stunted feet. Their tongues may be larger than the inside of their mouths which causes them to sometimes protrude slightly and can make clear speech difficult. They generally have almost or slanted eyes which, in less enlightened days, caused them to be called "mongoloid" at one time. Also in those days, women who gave birth to a "mongoloid" baby were told that their life expectancy was almost none existent and that, if they were to live, they would never be able to learn anything at all. Most doctors at that time suggested life long institutionalization from birth and, sadly, that's exactly what many families did.

But there are other characteristics that are shared by people with Down Syndrome that they didn't realize then yet I have experienced first hand through my career. People with Down Syndrome have, overwhelmingly, an enormous capacity for life. They enjoy themselves wholeheartedly in almost every aspect of their lives. If they work, they work hard and love every minute of it. They make dear friends and care about them deeply. They have favorite bands and music and TV shows and foods and clothes and books and actors and...you know what? They are a lot like everyone else. There is one aspect in which people with Down Syndrome are very different. In my experience, people with Downs have the largest capacity for love that I have ever seen. I have gotten the most sincere hugs and pats on the back from people with Down Syndrome. When they love you, they really love you! And they will let you know it. Somehow, knowing that someone is out there that cares that much about you, shows you every time how much they really like you and always want to be around you makes you feel pretty darn good about yourself. Like a rock star!

A few years into my career I changed jobs and was now working in case management as the "relocation specialist". This meant that I was given the task of going into the local institution to see who was left behind and to make plans to move them into less restrictive, more integrated community settings. Years before a major push for inclusion had cleared the institutes of most of the people with Down Syndrome. Because, you see, they have the ability to learn and easily moved into group homes and supported apartments throughout Wisconsin. They did not have the "death sentence" those doctors predicted long ago. In fact, they were living longer than anyone had imagined. At Southern WI Center, the nearest institution to where I live, there was then mostly highly behavioral individuals who would require multi-staffed homes and specialized programs in the community. But I also found a small, birdlike woman with Downs. She was wheelchair bound, unable to speak, profoundly retarded. She had been left there as an infant and was now in her mid-50s. She had long outlived any one's expectations. I was given the task of assessing her to find a group home placement in the community that could meet her special needs. As I looked into her very extensive file at the center I discovered that she was the sister of friend of mine. Amazingly, she had been placed there so long ago that she now had siblings in the community who were completely unaware that she even existed. Her mother, who had the difficult decision to institutionalize her so many years before, had chosen to keep that secret from them and passed away before any of them knew. I found the ideal group home for this lovely little lady where she was well cared for and was able to go places she had been denied for her entire life. Best of all, i got to reunite her with family that were thrilled to meet her for the first time. They've made her an integral part of their lives and the love she feels, though she cannot speak it, is so clearly evident in the hugs and smiles she is able to give them.

People with Downs, with their love of life, laughter and people, are the some of the best people I have had the pleasure to meet. I feel honored to have worked with so many. They strive to do good all the time. They want to be the best at their jobs, the best friends, the best athletes, the best at what they love to do. They are brave individuals who can light up a room and make others feel so deeply loved. If you've never had the opportunity to meet someone with Down Syndrome I urge you to seek out a chance to volunteer at your local Special Olympics for one season. Just one. You will walk away a changed person. One with a whole new perspective on life and what's really important.

So today I laughed...

You may have guessed from past posts this week that I have been a real cranky pants. I'm still in a funk and holding on to what little patience I have left but today I actually had a pretty good day.

I started out by leaving the house earlier than usual so I could stop at Linnea Bakery. I had visions of their warm cinnamon buns in mind and a steaming cup of their Swedish cardamom coffee. I went in and placed my order and then saw that they new Swedish products on their shelves just in time for Christmas!  Every time I go in Linnea I end up spending more than I planned. But they had Julmust - a holiday soda that is very popular in Sweden. They only sell it at this time of year and it outsells all other brands including Coke! It tastes a like a cross between Coke, ginger ale and cinnamon and it's really quite good. So I bought some. Then I saw they had glögg! Glögg is a spiced wine that you heat up and drink warm, usually with raisins and almonds in the glass. So tasty! So I bought it. I also saw some new Swedish candy and, well, being married to a Swede I just had to get some for his Christmas stocking.

Then the lady told me that the cinnamon buns would not be ready for another 20 minutes. I had already waited at least 15 and now I was clearly late for work. But you know what? I didn't care! I had a huge bag of goodies and some great coffee so instead of the buns I purchased some Norwegian short bread cookies and some Swedish chocolate cookie bars and off to work, late, but bearing gifts I went.

The atmosphere at work was calm...even, dare I say, happy? Everyone was just really happy and getting along. My friends and I found something humorous in almost every situation that presented itself. I so work with a great bunch of people. Our clients were all up-beat and happy too. We all took time to have a giggle or two.

And, even though I still feel a wee bit grumpy, this day went a long way to restore my faith in what I do and where I work. And that is a very good feeling.

And now it is November...

Wow, this year seems to have really flown. I keep thinking "it's too early for all this dark and cold weather" and then I remember, oh yeah, it's November already.

November 1 to be exact. And since November is Thanksgiving month here in the US, I've been thinking today of all the things that I have in my life to be truly thankful for. Today I am thankful for:

My friends.

I had a couple of really good laughs at work today. Actually, I have a couple of good laughs almost every day at work and it's because I work with a great group of women. We affectionately call ourselves the "bitches" - as in "bitches be trippin'" LOL There are four of us and we can pretty much just let it all out there with one another without fear of being judged or ridiculed...too much. We tend to take the piss out of each other if any of us gets too uppity and we kind of like making fun of each other.

I grew up in a large family of mostly girls. At school, I had one or two good friends for almost my entire time there. Not because I wasn't able to make friends but because, for me, having one or two really solid friends was enough. I didn't need or want to hang out with everyone. Now, at work, I have these three great broads that keep me grounded, that I can rely on, that make me laugh harder than anyone, and who are all very, very smart.

I love these bitches! I really do! LOL And I'm thankful I know them and they know me.

A large heaving puddle of immaturity...

Today at work, my office mate and I were reduced to two heaving puddles of immaturity in one fell swoop. Now, I consider myself a well educated woman. I have a degree and a professional career. I'm in charge of a lot of people at my job and the upper management often looks to me for ideas and suggestions to improve our service provision. In short, I am a valued employee and a woman of some accomplishment which, at my age, is something to be proud of.

But...

I have an inner child who cannot control herself at times. Especially if someone farts.

Yes, there is nothing funnier than a fart. I don't care who you are or what you do, if someone lets one rip in a public place, it is impossible not to fall into fits of giggles. Oh, you may be able to hold it together for a moment. Maybe even long enough for the offending party to leave the area so as not to cause even more embarrassment. But you know, as soon the wind bag goes, you're going to lose it.

This is exactly what happened at work today. My office mate and I were sitting at our desks working, minding our own business, getting things done when just outside our open door a woman sitting at a table let one fly. Wait...she did more than let one fly. This was, by far, the longest, loudest, most melodious gas passing I had ever heard in my life. At first, it didn't even sound real! I thought, for an instant, that my office mate was pranking me and put one of those fart machines under my desk but after a few seconds I realized that this was, indeed, a real live LONG fart. It started low and rose in tone and volume and lasted for what seemed at least 30 seconds and ended by a sudden rise as if it was asking a question.

Now, where I was sitting, I was right within eye sight of this woman but, thankfully, I was working at my computer and  had just moved my rather large monitor to the center of my desk which all but obscured a direct eye line. I bit my lip (to keep me from bursting into a fit of giggles) and willed myself to concentrate very hard at what I was reading on my screen. It was working for a while too except that just to my left, in my peripheral line of sight, I could see my office mate bent over at her desk pretending to look for something underneath it as her face turned redder and redder and laugh tears started to stream down her face. She was laughing that held in, silent drowning kind of laugh that you do when you're trying really hard not to laugh. I had to look away and pretend to read something hanging on my wall.

A minute passed with us in that strange in-between place where we were on the precipice of complete hysteria if we even looked at each other. Finally, my office mate, pulling as much of herself together as she could, stood up and made some weak excuse to leave the office. This gave me a brief reprieve because without her there I was able to hold it together.

In the meantime, Miss Rooty Toot Toot at the table, got up and left without a word. My office mate returned and we were both reduced into weeping, laughing, immature 10 year olds. It was one of those laughs that is so deep that it has no real sound but rather is the sound of air leaving a tire in short spastic spurts. This is always accompanied by involuntary tears and, eventually, a side ache. After a time, the laughter starts to subside and things start to get back to normal. Sort of.

For the rest of the day, the sound and memory of it all keeps seeping back into my thoughts and I break out into short bursts of giggling off and on all day. The worst is when we're trying to get some work done but we can hear each other struggling to maintain some dignity which just makes it worse.

During one of my giggle bursts, my office mate tries to be helpful by reading me tragic headlines from the internet. In my fit of laughter, she suddenly blurts out, "Judy Blume has cancer!"

Now I love Judy Blume and I'm really sad to hear that she is ill but, for some reason, the suddenness of my office mates announcement just makes me laugh harder and it's then, I know for sure, I am going to hell! I mean, I'm laughing at finding out that Judy Blume has cancer! I mean, I know I'm not really laughing at that - I'm just laughing - but still....straight to hell.

Even now, hours later, at home and writing this blog entry...I start to laugh all over again. And the thing is I can't really explain why it's so damn funny to me but, I don't care who you are, farts are funny. Every single time.

The kind of laughter that precedes a complete mental break down...

Once in a while at work, things just strike me as funny. For those who work in fields where compassion, understanding and empathy are key, occasionally, there is a need for a touch of dark humor. Face it, I work in a human service office dealing with people in crisis all day. Most of the time, those crises can be pretty gruesome - murders, suicides, overdoses, intentional self harm. So every once in a while, we need to laugh and, sometimes, we laugh at things that, I think, most people would find pretty offensive. Today, however, I was laughing not so much at the situations presented but at the details of the crisis calls we were getting.

For some reason, there were 6 separate calls from 6 different people and their needs were wide ranging from just a mere complaint to a person with suicidal and homicidal ideations. The thing that struck me funny was that all 6 of these people called as a result of their frustration of being in a grocery check out line at some point during the day. None of the calls were related. They weren't even at the same grocery store. As we read through these crisis contacts, I started to get the giggles. It's such a universal frustration but the severity and degree to which some of these folks expressed it just started me off and once I got started, I couldn't stop. I mean I hate grocery shopping as a rule but, seriously, getting to the point where the police and crisis unit have to be called is a wee bit over reactive, wouldn't you say? I guess I feel for their pain but I do appreciate the laugh.

Of course, with the price of groceries these days, I bet we can expect more of these calls!