Staying in front of the pain...

Something they tell you to do after you have surgery is to try to stay in front of the pain. This means they want you to take a pain medication before the pain margin becomes too much for you to bear. This has always been a concept that eludes me though. I have a high threshold for pain. On a scale from 1 - 10 for most people who would be at a 8 or 9 I am usually at a 3 or 4. So it's hard for me to know what staying in front of the pain means, actually.

This pain I'm having since surgery is really kicking my ass though. I will admit that. I have had to take the pain meds which I hate but there's no getting around it. And I've been using my yoga breathing to get through the worst of it. But little by little I can feel some improvement each day.

I'm still waiting for the pathology results. The waiting sucks, I won't deny it. I hate waiting. I want to know what's next - either I am well and life goes on or I have more treatment and life goes on. Either way, I want to know which path is mine to take.

The other thing I have to do is inject myself twice a day with a blood thinner. Never thought I'd be sticking myself with needles but here I am, 9am and 9pm, without fail. Glad that's only temporary - it doesn't hurt but it isn't pleasant either.

I know that I am luckier than some who have been diagnosed with cancer. And I know that this could be just the beginning but I have to be positive that this is the worst it will be and once I get the results I will be on the way to better health.

I know for sure that I will not be sad to see the tail end of 2015. Three surgeries in one year...that's enough for me.

Getting thru it...

On Tuesday, I had surgery. I had a complete hysterectomy and they were going to remove my lymph nodes too but, in the end, decided against it. It turned out that my uterus was enlarged and filled with fibroid tumors. It took longer than expected to remove it and doing the node too would have added more time to the surgery and compromised my breathing. My doc is confident that she got all of the cancer but won't know for sure until tomorrow or Monday.

I am home and waiting. And in some pain. But so glad that ordeal is over. We will take these things as they come.

And we will get through.

A whole new knee....

Here I am, back home again, after surgery and two weeks of in-patient therapy. I am the proud owner of a new knee. The journey from painful gimp to heroic less painful  gimp was a wild one, to be sure. My original surgery date was supposed to be February 9th but I was in so much pain I called and asked for it to be moved up so it was moved four days earlier. I went in on the 5th.

Now, in Kenosha, depending on who you talk to, you hear so much about the quality or lack of quality in the local medical professionals. I have never found the latter to be true. I have a great GP who is caring and challenges me to take better care of myself and it's been working. And my surgeon, Dr. Slimak, was amazing! I opted to use the old hospital downtown too because I am familiar with it and am comfortable there. Everyone there was so nice and, honestly, I was in and out of surgery in a flash! I woke up and wasn't even aware that I had gone in! And the best part? No pain! Now, of course, at the time I was still under sedation and I had been given a nerve block in my left leg so naturally there was no pain! But it was like heaven. I woke up feeling like a million bucks - and with so much energy! Because I use a C-Pap for sleep apnea the doc wanted me to spend one night in Critical Care - just in case - so off I went.

The care I got in the hospital was stellar. The RN's and the CNA's were so attentive. Anytime I called, they were right there within seconds asking me what I needed and making sure I was well cared for. They got me standing within the first day of my surgery which was amazing. Still no pain! I was using a walker to navigate the room from bed to commode and back again. The PT department came and worked that leg and showed me how to work it on my own. After that one night, I was moved to the regular surgical floor. I had a private room both times. The funny part was in CCU I had a huge flat screen TV and was looking forward to watching the midseason premiere of The Walking Dead on it but in my new surgical floor room I had the tiniest TV ever! Still, it was a nice room and I didn't have to share it. I did have one mishap one night. I called the aides when I had to use the commode and they helped me to stand. When I was finished one of them handed me some toilet paper and I absentmindedly took it in my left hand letting go of the walker and my knee buckled under me and I started to fall. The male aide was fast and he gently guided me to the floor so I didn't actually fall and everything was fine. I was half asleep and not thinking and neither was the aide who handed me the paper. My knee still had some nerve block in it and I didn't have full feeling back in it yet so it just gave out. It was scary but no harm was done.

After that, everything went smoothly. I was up and walking almost daily. I was doing laps around the nurses station and eventually using the regular bathroom and washing up in the bathroom on my own.  I had opted to go to an inpatient rehab for more PT because I had to be able to climb several stairs to get into my apartment and I wasn't sure how I was going to do that. Now that I was healing so well and could see how easily I was taking to therapy I was having second thoughts on that decision but I decided to go ahead to go anyway.

I was admitted to Hospitality Manor on February 9th - ironically, the original surgery date. My first day there did not go well. I was greeted by a kind nurse who checked me in and I was taken to my room and that was pretty much it. I was left in a wheel chair and no one came to answer my call for the next three hours. I was so frustrated. I had to use the bathroom! They did not give me a walker, no way to get there on my own, and when an aide would ask me what I wanted she would tell me she had to get help and never return. Once she came back, after telling me she getting assistance, and she was passing out ice water instead. I blew up. I was pissed! After a time, Alex came in and I just burst into tears. He knew something was wrong. The nurse returned and he went and got a social worker and I filed a complaint on my very first day there. It was horrible and not a good way to start.

But, it got better...and I'll go more into that in the next installment of A Whole New Knee!

Hi Ho Hi Ho To Surgery I Go...

So, the kind people at Comprehensive Orthopedics have x-rayed me and it is determined that the time has come. On February 9th, I will have my left knee replaced. For the last couple of weeks I have been in the most excruciating pain I have ever felt. The x-ray showed that not only do I not have any cartilage in my knees and they are bone on bone, the left side is actually bone overlapping bone causing a sharp knife stabbing burst of pain with the tiniest of movement and a constant throbbing ache. My right knee is holding it's own for now but will eventually have to be replaced as well. The doc gave me some Tramadol for pain and it worked for about the first day but now it does nothing.

I know I'm lucky to work in a place with health insurance but I will have to pay for 20% of the total cost of this procedure and the hospitalization even with the insurance. And because I live in a two story walk up that is tiny and not conducive to in home therapy I will be going to in-patient rehab for physical therapy for a few weeks. Again, insurance will pay but only 80% so this will cost me some dollars. To add insult to injury, I do not have enough paid sick time accrued to cover the lengthy recovery time and I only have four weeks of paid vacation times to use which is half of the shortest recovery time I have been quoted. I've applied for Family Medical Leave but that will be unpaid time. So, this is a real bummer. Physically, I feel like shit yet know I can't live without getting this done but financially - it's a blood sucker.

We'll be okay. We always are. Somehow, Alex and I will get through this and carry on and I'll be healthier and happier for it. He's been a ROCK throughout all of this - putting up with my whiney, crabby ass and taking such good care of me. Even making fun of me when it gets too serious. I love him for that.

So, I will be the proud owner of a new bionic knee very soon. I'm sure recovery will have it's pain but nothing can match with what I'm living with right now. Unbearable. Really.