The week that was...

Though I may not show it, I hate waiting for anything. It's probably one of the hardest things for me to deal with - being made to wait. This past week I was waiting for some news. The exact nature of the news isn't important but the news itself was either going to be very good or very difficult. It's wierd, but, sometimes, you can be waiting for something that both excites you and scares the crap outta you. It was hard to know how to feel about it. The longer I waited, the worse my stress level became because I was trying to keep my emotions in check and not get all girly and cry. The waiting brought on great thoughts of what might be and then horrible thoughts of what might be. And the odd part about that is that when I finally got the news I was waiting for I was still left with those same thoughts. There was no resolution to them and maybe until the next time I am waiting for some news like this again, there never will be. All of this made a song pop into my head. It's a song from an old musical and, I think, might have been sung by Bing Crosby. It goes like this...

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep,
I count my blessings instead of sheep,
and then I fall asleep,
counting my blessings."

So, here's my count... my blessings...those things I will never take for granted and be grateful for every day of my life.

1. Love - I love and am loved and there's nothing better than that.
2. Family - they make me crazy but I can't live without them.
3. Home - both here and away, it's where my heart is.
4. Work - as much as I bitch about having to do it, I see it's value.
5. Friends - I don't have enough and look forward to making more wherever I am.
6. Health - there are things I need to change to keep it but I'm healthy and for that I'm grateful.
7. Smarts - I have some, could use more and I appreciate it when I see it in others.
8. Music - there is music in everything.
9. Words - I have a skill for communication and I love what the right words can do.
10. Values - mine may not be the same as yours but I know, inside, I am a good person.

Funny, when I start making this list, I realize that I'm a lot better off than most. I don't want...not for material things, that's for sure. Not that I am wealthy but those things never meant anything to me. I do want for other things though. I want to be in the place I know I belong, with the person I know I belong with. But I don't feel regret about that right now because I also have a sense of calm knowing that will happen. All good things come to those who wait.