Apparently some people's time is more valuable than others...

So last Friday I went to yet another doctor in an effort to get some relief from this blasted arm/shoulder horror that I've been going through. This time I was referred to an Orthopedic Surgeon. Now, I had previously been to an Orthopedic Surgeon for a knee problem earlier this year and I asked if I could just go back to that guy because I quite liked him and got good treatment there. I was told that he was a "knee" guy and this new one was a "shoulder" guy so I guess that made sense though I didn't realize Orthopedic Surgery was quite that specialized. Anyway...

I made an appointment for Friday at noon with the intention of going to work and running over there on my lunch hour. Silly me thinking a full hour would be enough time! As luck would have it, I did not go into work at all that day. I had a pretty bad pain filled night with next to no sleep so I called in sick to work. I got to my appointment at 11:45am, as I was told to do, because I was a new patient there and there would be paperwork to fill out. I filled out the paperwork and took a seat in the waiting area just before noon. And then I waited. I waited and waited and waited. People were coming in and the waiting area was fast filling up and still no one was getting in to see the doc.

There was a sign at the desk that said "IF you are waiting longer than 30 minutes, come to the desk." Well, one by one everyone in the waiting room went up to the desk. The poor ladies behind the desk had no excused as to why the doc was taking so long. No, he wasn't in surgery. No, they didn't know why he was running so late but they were sorry about it. Medical Transport people were dropping folks off and returned to pick them up only to find the person hadn't even been seen yet! It was maddening. A full hour passed and finally they called my name.

I was ushered to an examining room where a nurse took the preliminary information. No, there was no injury. Yes, the pain is at about an 8. No, I've never had this before. And so on and so forth. Then she said, "The doctor will be with you as soon as he looks at your MRI." And she left.

So I sat there. All alone. Sitting in the exam room, hearing full on conversations about other people's medical care right outside my door. Talk about breaching the Health Information Privacy Act! I was hearing stuff I shouldn't have been hearing. I know who had recent surgery and why and who they thought was simply med seeking and who was coming in for a consult and more. Unbelievable that this loud conversation was taking place right outside my door! On the other hand, it made the time go faster because clearly no one was coming in to see me any time soon. In fact, I sat in the exam room alone for almost 40 minutes! I was beginning to think they had forgotten me when the door finally opened and the doc walked in. He said, "Sorry I'm running so far behind. I still have to take a look at your MRI. Be right back!" And POOF! He was gone! In that 40 minutes, he hadn't even looked at the damn thing. I sat there for another 20 minutes and finally he came in, apologizing all over himself, but still no reasons given as to why I, and everyone else there, had to wait almost two hours to be seen. 

Here's the kicker - he told me that he saw some "messy" cartilage in my shoulder and gave me a shot of cortisone. He said if this didn't help he would refer me to his colleague to give me another type of injection directly into the bone of the joint. And if that didn't help - I would need surgery. All of this took approximately 15 minutes. And then I was done.

Now I wasn't expecting him to have lunch with me or anything like that but the actual time I spent with him was rushed and impersonal. After waiting for two hours, I was given the minimum of attention and pretty much felt like they wanted me out of there ten minutes before I actually left. He didn't even give me any follow up orders or ask me to call him if this shot didn't work. It's just as well because I won't be going back there. I will call my other Orthopedic Surgeon, the "knee" guy, and follow whatever course of treatment he recommends. He treats his patients with respect and realizes that their time is just as valuable as his time. That alone is worth going to him. I should have listened to my first instinct!

When oh when....

The redecorating continues. Our living room is in a shambles. So far though our friend has remudded the cracks, twice...sanded everything to within an inch of it's life, and now primed the wood work. ETA on having the living room completed is next weekend. We kind of had to relay to him that he had to concentrate on one room at a time even though it might be easier for him to so each step in each room at the same time. That way was taking way too long and this being a small apartment meant we did not have even one room, other than the bedroom, to be in when he was working. So, he's concentrating on the living room and then moving on. I really didn't anticipate that this would be taking this long. I though he would slap some fresh paint up and be done. Ah well...

Found out today that while Alexander and I are in Sweden, my sister/landlord is putting in (drum roll please!) laminate wood floors in the kitchen, hallways and bathroom. AND we're getting a new toilet installed! Whooo hoo!! This is real progress here, folks. This place hasn't had a good sprucing in a very long time and it's going to be nice to have a place that we don't have to be ashamed to have someone over! Can't wait!

Homesick....

Is it possible to be homesick for a place I've never lived? I'm starting to wonder. This afternoon at work I had a long conversation with a co-worker who was excitedly telling me about her impending vacation plans. She is leaving in a couple of weeks to tour Norway and Sweden. She has family in Norway but she loves Stockholm so she's taking some time away from family to revisit the sights of Stockholm. As she spoke I felt my heart tugging (that green monster again...) and then she shared some photos from the last time she was there.

Afterwards, I spent part of my lunch hour looking at photos of Sweden via Google Images. I want to be there so badly! I saw some photos of places I had been and instantly my memories swept my up.

I know that I am destined to live in Sweden one day. I know there is some time yet before that can happen and MANY exciting things to happen before then. But I do love getting swept up in the dream and the knowledge that one day it will be true.

Doing my happy Tuesday dance!

I got an email today that made me happy! Alexander and I sent all of the paperwork to the attorney last week and today the attorney emailed me to tell us that it's all together and has been sent off to the US Immigration Service! Wheee hoooo!!

I have renew empathy for those who choose to come to the US illegally. I can understand why they do. I mean, getting away from their own poverty is one thing but the Immigration Services do not make it easy or very affordable to do it legally. There is SO MUCH INFORMATION that had to be gathered and verified and whatnot that had to be submitted with the application for Alex's visa. Then there are the filing free. Nearly $800 for just this first step and more to come as Alex applies for Permanent Residency.

Still, it's done for now and now we wait. This is the closest we've been yet and it feels good to know that this is all well on it's way now!!!

*you can't see me but I really am doing a happy dance here*

From here to eternity...

I feel like I am in a perpetual state of waiting these days. Of course, Alex and I have been waiting a long time to be able to put our plan in motion. Getting some cash together to start the immigration papers seems to have taken a lifetime. I got a notice on Monday that the money was coming through BUT I have to wait until Friday. I know it's only a few more days but at this point those last few days seem to be the longest ever.

Couple of weeks ago, I went to the eye doc and ordered some new glasses. They told me it would take about a week. I've been waiting for them to call but they never do. I called today and the frames I ordered haven't even arrived yet. They said maybe they would get them in the shipment today. So I wait...

At work I've been asking the agency to create a new position - a lead RN Care Manager - which would assist me in training and teaching the RN's I supervise. Not being a nurse, it's difficult for me to be able to answer the questions they sometimes come up with. Three weeks ago, I proposed this to the higher ups and it was decided it was a good idea. They said they would have to post it so anyone could apply. Then they didn't post it. I asked again today. They said they would post it. They didn't. So I wait...

I am a very patient person but I have to tell you, I HATE waiting. Waiting is just repetitious nothingness that drives me insane. I know waiting is an inevitable part of life and I know "good things come to those who wait" blah blah blah...but I hate it. I hate every excrutiating minute of it. There just is no good way to wait.

A sigh of relief and dreams of far away...

I'm in one of my moods. We've been going through an audit at work and blah blah blah...I spent so much time dealing with that today I can't even write about it. The real thing on my mind is that I just don't want to be here anymore. No, not not here as in not existing...I mean not here as in not here in Wisconsin anymore.

Now that there is a definite plan to eventually move to Sweden I want it to happen now. But it can't. So my very impatient inner child is having a temper tantrum. I know, I know...we're getting closer. But closer means it's still a couple of YEARS away and, dammit, that's too long!! I mean, it's in sight but still so far out of touch. So I scour the net for Swedish news and music and articles and photos and contact my Swedish "family" and watch the DVDs they send me and talk to my Swede several times each day and then...wait.

I have pictured in my mind how it will be so many times that it is almost palpable. I can see it. I am there. At least in my thoughts. And my heart. I can tell you, the day we pack up the last of whatever it is we will send ahead of us and then get on that plane will be the happiest day of my life. I want it now. NOW!

The week that was...

Though I may not show it, I hate waiting for anything. It's probably one of the hardest things for me to deal with - being made to wait. This past week I was waiting for some news. The exact nature of the news isn't important but the news itself was either going to be very good or very difficult. It's wierd, but, sometimes, you can be waiting for something that both excites you and scares the crap outta you. It was hard to know how to feel about it. The longer I waited, the worse my stress level became because I was trying to keep my emotions in check and not get all girly and cry. The waiting brought on great thoughts of what might be and then horrible thoughts of what might be. And the odd part about that is that when I finally got the news I was waiting for I was still left with those same thoughts. There was no resolution to them and maybe until the next time I am waiting for some news like this again, there never will be. All of this made a song pop into my head. It's a song from an old musical and, I think, might have been sung by Bing Crosby. It goes like this...

"When I'm worried and I can't sleep,
I count my blessings instead of sheep,
and then I fall asleep,
counting my blessings."

So, here's my count... my blessings...those things I will never take for granted and be grateful for every day of my life.

1. Love - I love and am loved and there's nothing better than that.
2. Family - they make me crazy but I can't live without them.
3. Home - both here and away, it's where my heart is.
4. Work - as much as I bitch about having to do it, I see it's value.
5. Friends - I don't have enough and look forward to making more wherever I am.
6. Health - there are things I need to change to keep it but I'm healthy and for that I'm grateful.
7. Smarts - I have some, could use more and I appreciate it when I see it in others.
8. Music - there is music in everything.
9. Words - I have a skill for communication and I love what the right words can do.
10. Values - mine may not be the same as yours but I know, inside, I am a good person.

Funny, when I start making this list, I realize that I'm a lot better off than most. I don't want...not for material things, that's for sure. Not that I am wealthy but those things never meant anything to me. I do want for other things though. I want to be in the place I know I belong, with the person I know I belong with. But I don't feel regret about that right now because I also have a sense of calm knowing that will happen. All good things come to those who wait.