It's what's on my mind so it's what you get...

In two days I will be going to Sweden. I'm so damn excited I can think of little else and, frankly, these last two days are going to be a blur. Though we're going there for a very serious reason - to help my father-in-law pack up his apartment as he moves into an assisted living place - I'm still looking forward to being in, what I believe, is one of the most wonderful countries on the planet.

I fell in love with Sweden the very first time I ever went there. That was back in 2006, I think. It was November so it was the dark season. In Sweden, they get dark winter days and nights. All of my pictures from that trip look like they were taken at night but most were taken in the afternoon. Still, I fell in love with how beautiful the place was. Every single window, from every apartment, had a lit star hanging in the window. The lights illuminated the winter night and with quiet snow falling it was the coziest winter scene I've ever seen. I was hooked.

I was also taken aback by the cleanliness of the entire place. I didn't really see any garbage in the streets and very little graffiti. In fact, I kind of got the feeling that the Swedes themselves would never graffiti up a building but rather the graffiti was there by the hand of newer immigrants. I was amazed to walk through the subway stations and see complete murals and statues, close enough touch, without a mark on them. That would never happen in the US.

I returned to Sweden a couple of years later. This time, in the summer months. As beautiful as my winter trip had been I have to admit my summer trip was breathtaking! Stockholm is built on 14 islands in an archipelago. Everywhere I went there were open green spaces and water lit by glistening city lights. You can swim right in the city center and the water is clean. Really clean. Swedes pride themselves on being one of the "greenest" countries in the world. Water and air pollution are at a minimum. Swedes recycle with a vengeance. And the penalties for not recycling are harsh. But the thing is, the people understand that it is for the good of all so there is not a problem with people choosing not to do it. They just do it. Because it's the right thing to do.

During my summer trip I was lucky enough to really get to explore. I went to the island of Gotland and visited the ancient Viking city of Visby where Swedish history is so thick you can feel it. It was green and lush and surrounded by the Baltic Sea where I got to swim in it's cold waves and laughed my ass off at being tossed about by those waves. I marveled at the blueness of the Swedish summer sky. In the summer, Sweden has long sunlit days and Swedes know how to take advantage of every single minute of that daylight. I was awed by Sweden's natural beauty and I vowed that one day I would live there.

Lucky for me, I married a Swede! Of course my interest in Sweden begins with meeting my husband. But once I embraced the Swedish way, the land and language, the beauty and the city life, I knew that it was the place for me. I felt at home in Sweden right away, from that very first trip. I felt like I belonged there. I don't have a single drop of Swedish blood in me so I don't know exactly where these feelings come from but I do know that Sweden is calling me.

And so, on Sunday, I'm boarding a plane. I'll be there for ten days. Not long enough but it will have to do for now. IN the meantime, we work to save what we will need to finally call Sweden our home. It's a big dream but I feel deep down that we will get there.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

I'm experiencing some serious burn out on my job lately. Don't get me wrong...I love what I do. Still, this time of year I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing and a million other places I'd rather be. Each morning, I have to give myself a pep talk to get myself going. I come to work ready for the day, get a few hours into it and then...blah, blah, blah.

Summer has always been hard for me. The weather outside is beautiful and I want to be anywhere but here. My mind is full of wanderlust. I want to be off on our trip to Sweden. I want to start a project like going back to school. I want to get out and live a little. Sometimes it gets so bad that I am merely checking off time between work stuffs to get to the end of the day. Today is one of those days. I crammed my morning full of letter writing, contacting people, answering questions and dealing with clients and now, at 3pm, my mind is off on a tangent and when a work question arises it becomes more of an inconvenience than anything else.

Even though I do like my job, I'm kind of over it too. I've done this for a very long time and I have to think there is more to look forward to than 9 hours of this each day. I'm feeling punchy. And I like my coworkers very much too but I'm longing for new faces and new places. I need an adventure. Something that will last for the rest of my life. Not just a vacation...a real adventure. New beginnings and all that.

I've had this feeling many times before. I try very hard to keep it in check so I don't fly off and do something I will really regret later. Like quit my job! I'm not that silly. Really, I'm not. I'm sure something will come along to divert my attention. Maybe school. Maybe a plan to move, once and for all. Its out there. I just have to be patient and think it through rationally.

In the meantime, I will plug away here and try very hard not to hide under my desk. Of course, it's kind of nice under there...quiet...and no one can find me!