Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

I'm experiencing some serious burn out on my job lately. Don't get me wrong...I love what I do. Still, this time of year I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing and a million other places I'd rather be. Each morning, I have to give myself a pep talk to get myself going. I come to work ready for the day, get a few hours into it and then...blah, blah, blah.

Summer has always been hard for me. The weather outside is beautiful and I want to be anywhere but here. My mind is full of wanderlust. I want to be off on our trip to Sweden. I want to start a project like going back to school. I want to get out and live a little. Sometimes it gets so bad that I am merely checking off time between work stuffs to get to the end of the day. Today is one of those days. I crammed my morning full of letter writing, contacting people, answering questions and dealing with clients and now, at 3pm, my mind is off on a tangent and when a work question arises it becomes more of an inconvenience than anything else.

Even though I do like my job, I'm kind of over it too. I've done this for a very long time and I have to think there is more to look forward to than 9 hours of this each day. I'm feeling punchy. And I like my coworkers very much too but I'm longing for new faces and new places. I need an adventure. Something that will last for the rest of my life. Not just a vacation...a real adventure. New beginnings and all that.

I've had this feeling many times before. I try very hard to keep it in check so I don't fly off and do something I will really regret later. Like quit my job! I'm not that silly. Really, I'm not. I'm sure something will come along to divert my attention. Maybe school. Maybe a plan to move, once and for all. Its out there. I just have to be patient and think it through rationally.

In the meantime, I will plug away here and try very hard not to hide under my desk. Of course, it's kind of nice under there...quiet...and no one can find me!

Wanting to get away...

It's been a while since I had a real vacation. I think the last actual vacation trip I had was a couple of years ago when I went to Sweden. Since then, all of our time, money and effort has been in getting Alexander here so we could marry. We didn't even have time or money for a honeymoon. We're planning to go to Sweden early next year but that's a long way off and I'm feeling the need to get out of Dodge and have some pure relaxation time.

Used to be, my family would go up to Hayward, WI each year and stay at a place called Pat's Landing. But the kind folks who ran the place retired and we just stopped going. I've missed those long, lazy days sitting on the deck with a cold beverage watching the ducks and loons. I know it's far too late in the summer for us to get a place now. In Northern WI if you don't book a cabin at least a year in advance your pretty much out of luck.

OH, I know, I could just sit in my yard, a mere half block from Lake Michigan and enjoy a cold beverage. That's not the point. The point is the getting away part. It's the planning, the excitement, the packing, the re-packing, the driving, the arriving, the unpacking, and the collective sigh once you get there. It's the feeling of being far, far away from the usual daily grind. It's exploring a new place, seeing new things and just leaving it all behind. I really need that right now.

Wanderlust...

My wanderlust is getting to me today. I feel so homesick for the place I want so badly to call home. I spent a good hour this morning checking all the live webcams around Stockholm and wishing I was there. There are so many good people there and I've had so many good times there and I could use that right now. And, of course, Alexander is there.

We are inching ever closer to Alex immigrating here and getting married. For that I am so excited! But our long term plan is to live and work in Sweden. I will not lose sight of that ever. Even though circumstances, financial and otherwise, have made us choose a reverse plan - him coming here - we are focused on getting back there. I've been pouring over information about real estate and rentals and how to's and we know it won't be easy. But I still believe, from what I've learned, that it will be much easier to work here and save the cash to have to negotiate what we need there when we're ready to move.

Anyway, I love Sweden and all the people I've met there. I feel that Alex's family is now my family too and I miss them all very much. So, I am sitting and dreaming of Sweden, the archipelago, the architecture, the history, and, most of all, the people.

Wanderlust...

Heading into the work week my mind is still full of the thoughts I was having over the weekend. I'm longing to go somewhere. I know this is because it's summer and summer is the time when I would get to go on some kind of vacation. This year it's not possible and, I gotta tell you, it's getting hard to concentrate on anything because I am really wanting to go away.

It doesn't help that I have so many great Internet friends from all over the world you have been posting photos of summer in their homelands. I pour over their blogs and emails and wish that I was there.

There's Esther, who is now in Sweden on her own vacation, but who lives in Niger and each day she posts absolutely beautiful photos of what's going on at the Eden Foundation. Those bright blue skies and brilliant sunsets are stunning!

Then there's Lilly, who now lives in Sweden, and she posts her latest attempts at cooking and baking and tells her readers of the things she's learning as she assimilates to living in a foreign country.

There's the rest of the "Fikaganget" - that great group of people who share their days with me, some abroad, some right here in the US, all of them interesting, lovely people.

I am longing to travel. I want to pack up, get on a plane and go. I know exactly where I would go too. It should be no surprise that I would go to Sweden, given the chance. And one of these days I will...and I won't be coming back.

I think someone has wanderlust...

For the past few days I have had the itch to travel. I really, really, really want to go to Stockholm. Of course, I want to go and be with Alexander but I think even more than that I just really feel the need to GO somewhere. I know it's because of spring - the weather's warmer, the sun is out and I want to go, go, go! I'm not the only one.

Yesterday was the first truly nice "open up all the windows" kind of day here. My little Brigitte cat took her place in the front window sill and didn't let go of it until some time this morning. She looks longingly at all the goings on out there and sniffs the warm breezes. I wish I had a balcony that she could lounge on all day but I don't. She's the little one who quietly opened a hole in one of the screens last year and made her way to the small roof which gave me a heart attack! If I trusted for a minute that she would be safe and find her way back I would let her outside but there are so many dangers outside for this little indoor girl. So, she has to be content with her perch at the window. Besides I think she is braver in her mind than she actually is in her heart. She scares easily and, while she loves checking into any manner of goodies that could mean trouble, if they ARE trouble she jumps a mile and hides for a while until her nerves calm down. Even the cursor on my computer screen sometimes scares her if I move it too quickly!

Arnie, my big baby boy, is more content to stand on his haunches at the window and look out like an old man making sure the kids stay off his lawn. Once he's sure they are, he stretches and goes back to sleep. He's not very concerned about what's going on outside unless it involves a lot of noise. If it does, then he has to sit on my lap for a while just to make sure I'm not scared of that noise or until he stops palpitating, whichever comes first! As long as that big boy has food, water and his favorite soft bed - he's good to go. Oh, and he does have to have the nightly squidge from me. That's when he climbs on my lap, nestles into my arms baby style, and begs me to rub his face telling him what a big baby he is! What is it with cat's faces? When I rub Arnie's face his eyes roll back into his head and he looks like he's in ecstasy! Brigitte shows her love by thumping me with her head...over and over and over again.