Letting out a little sigh...

I think I was holding my breath without even realizing it. I didn't take a breath until I saw Alexander getting off the airport shuttle and walking towards me. No...that's not right. I don't think I actually took a breath until he was in my arms.

Yeah, that was it.

As I sit here typing this, he is sleeping off the jet lag.
The whole atmosphere here has changed. It's the same apartment with the same crappy furniture and the same dark rooms. Yet, it's changed. Because, at last, my heart is home.

And all is right with the world.

Gauging my frustration meter....

I'm back at work after a glorious spur of the moment four day weekend and it's been a rough one. Getting back into the "swing" of things these days isn't easy for me because the "swing" of things seem to be slowly slipping away. At the end of this month my staff will all be going to other jobs elsewhere and I'll be left here not knowing quite yet what I'll be doing.

I'm starting to see basic everyday decisions being taken out of my hands. Staff still come to me with questions but, at this point, I am not the one to be answering them. I'm in a weird state of limbo.

It's because of this that I am also getting more and more easily frustrated with day to day happenings around here. People are off making decisions without me and then coming to me to "fix" the mess they've created and it takes every ounce of strength I have to refrain from telling them to go take a flying leap! I have to physically remind myself to take a deep breath and not bite their heads off. I have to admit this was most difficult today when one of my staff introduced me to a new co-worker as "her office manager"!! Last time I checked I was still her boss and wasn't working for her. Breathe...1,2,3,4.....