Next week I'm taking three days off to help my sister at her home while she plays hostess to my mother, my mother's sisters, and three of my cousins. My Aunt Mayme and my Aunt Sister Loyola are coming to town. They're coming with my cousins Virgie, Shari and Mickey. My aunties are 89 and 90 years old and my mother is 93. This is going to be the last time they'll all be together.
While I anticipate that this visit will be fun and there will be some laughs, it will also be bittersweet knowing that these three great ladies - North Dakota farm raised - will be seeing each other for the last time. They haven't seen my mom since she had her stroke last Christmas. She's significantly worse than she was, even immediately following the stroke. She tires easily, cannot do anything for herself, is wheel chair bound, and, try as she might, she cannot hold a conversation because her words mix up to the point of frustration. Deep down, I know she is looking forward to seeing them but she shakes her head, "no", when asked about the visit. She says no to almost everything now.
My sister is an amazing woman taking all of this on. She's been a rock - a dedicated care giver to my mom since even before the stroke. There's not anything that could repay her for all of the time and effort she's expended for her sake. She bathes her, feeds her, takes her to all of her appointments, lifts her, repositions her and keeps her spirits up every day. She even renovated her house to accommodate her.
I fully expect that one day, me and my sisters will be in our 80s and 90s and gathering together somewhere for our last visit too. It will be fun. We will have some laughs. And it will be as bittersweet as the days next week are bound to be.
Showing posts with label family dynamics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family dynamics. Show all posts
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
What I saw today...
My mother has now been moved to a local nursing home for rehab. At least she is closer to home.
I was there today visiting her with my sister. While we were there, my niece came in to visit too. She's 6 months pregnant. I sat there for a time watching my mom, my sister and my sister's daughter talking and laughing. My niece carrying the next generation in her womb. It was a beautiful sight.
The fact that life, in it's best and worst, goes on, was not lost on me. It was there from start to finish, today, at Brookside Nursing Home. My mom, so near the end, enjoying a smile with her daughter - at the middle of her life - and grand daughter who is carrying new life with in her.
This is the way it is, isn't it? We're born, we live, we touch lives, we have families, we age, and we hope that when we're at our own end, there is a smile and the hope of new birth. That's what I saw today.
I was there today visiting her with my sister. While we were there, my niece came in to visit too. She's 6 months pregnant. I sat there for a time watching my mom, my sister and my sister's daughter talking and laughing. My niece carrying the next generation in her womb. It was a beautiful sight.
The fact that life, in it's best and worst, goes on, was not lost on me. It was there from start to finish, today, at Brookside Nursing Home. My mom, so near the end, enjoying a smile with her daughter - at the middle of her life - and grand daughter who is carrying new life with in her.
This is the way it is, isn't it? We're born, we live, we touch lives, we have families, we age, and we hope that when we're at our own end, there is a smile and the hope of new birth. That's what I saw today.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Okay, maybe I'm a little bit awesome...
It's been a long time since I posted in this blog. I apologize for my recent lapse in common sense and self esteem. I was swimming in the pity pool for awhile but I'm back now.
This week, I spent some time getting to know an extended family member. We connected in a clear, close way and it has made a difference in my life. He is older, and a real character at times, but also kind, and infinitely interested in culture, theatre and human kind. He may have some thoughts and ideas that are not exactly in tune with mine but we were able to talk about things for hours and it has brought us closer. That makes me feel awesome.
I also have a new appreciation for my awesome husband. I can see him now in relation to his family in a way that I could not before and I see him clearly and know that he is as awesome as they come! I won't go into too much detail here because I know he reads this blog and it will embarrass him immensely but, trust me, he's awesome in every way.
Another awesome thing, I have some creative projects in the works. I'm making a very cool Halloween costume - a Zombie bride. And we are working on a Halloween song which I think will be very good. So yeah, awesome me is back. Hahah!
This week, I spent some time getting to know an extended family member. We connected in a clear, close way and it has made a difference in my life. He is older, and a real character at times, but also kind, and infinitely interested in culture, theatre and human kind. He may have some thoughts and ideas that are not exactly in tune with mine but we were able to talk about things for hours and it has brought us closer. That makes me feel awesome.
I also have a new appreciation for my awesome husband. I can see him now in relation to his family in a way that I could not before and I see him clearly and know that he is as awesome as they come! I won't go into too much detail here because I know he reads this blog and it will embarrass him immensely but, trust me, he's awesome in every way.
Another awesome thing, I have some creative projects in the works. I'm making a very cool Halloween costume - a Zombie bride. And we are working on a Halloween song which I think will be very good. So yeah, awesome me is back. Hahah!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Oh, brother....
Yesterday my brother ended up in the hospital again. You may recall he was in a near fatal car accident a couple of months ago. Well, he went to work yesterday, already not feeling well, and it just got worse as the day progressed. He was feeling congested and having a hard time breathing. He left work and went to the ER. Because of the recent head injury they immediately ordered a CT Scan to rule out that it was anything accident related. What they found was a blood clot in his lung. Of course, they admitted him and he'll be there, medicated, over this weekend. They're hoping the meds will break up the clot. I'm sure he'll be fine. Thankfully, he got there early and they caught it. But this whole incident got me to thinking about my siblings.
I'm the youngest of 6 kids in our family and all of my sibs are significantly older than me. My oldest sister is 68 years old! All of them, with the exception of my sister Patsy - next oldest to me - have had health issues this year. Two of my sisters, the middle two have arthritis and bad knees and feet which impedes their ability to do much of anything. I see them all slowing down with age and I know being the youngest will mean that I will see them get more and more problems and go one by one. Not that their on their way out just yet but it is inevitable that at some point this will happen.
I remember that this happened with my Dad. He outlived all of his brothers and sisters and those last years before he passed away he often talked about how he missed them. I have a very close family. Probably closer than most. Not a day goes by when we don't talk to each other and we hang out together all the time - even for mundane daily things like grocery shopping and whatnot. It makes me realize even more that I have to treasure this time now, while we are all still relatively healthy, and not let a day go by when I don't tell them I love them.
By the way, my Dad was in his 80's when he passed away and my mother, still kicking, is 90 years old. We come from good stock so I'm sure we'll all be here for a long, long time!
I'm the youngest of 6 kids in our family and all of my sibs are significantly older than me. My oldest sister is 68 years old! All of them, with the exception of my sister Patsy - next oldest to me - have had health issues this year. Two of my sisters, the middle two have arthritis and bad knees and feet which impedes their ability to do much of anything. I see them all slowing down with age and I know being the youngest will mean that I will see them get more and more problems and go one by one. Not that their on their way out just yet but it is inevitable that at some point this will happen.
I remember that this happened with my Dad. He outlived all of his brothers and sisters and those last years before he passed away he often talked about how he missed them. I have a very close family. Probably closer than most. Not a day goes by when we don't talk to each other and we hang out together all the time - even for mundane daily things like grocery shopping and whatnot. It makes me realize even more that I have to treasure this time now, while we are all still relatively healthy, and not let a day go by when I don't tell them I love them.
By the way, my Dad was in his 80's when he passed away and my mother, still kicking, is 90 years old. We come from good stock so I'm sure we'll all be here for a long, long time!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
How old is old enough?
My mother, bless her 90 year old heart, still thinks her daughters are all still 16 and should be living by her rules. Especially when it comes to relationships. I was at her house today for our regular Sunday brunch/Canasta blow out event when one of my sisters brought up some tentative plans for this summer. She asked me if I was going to be involved in said plans and I told her that I wasn't sure since Alex was coming here for almost two months and I would have to wait and see.
My mom said, never looking up from her cards, "Almost two months?"
I said, "Yes, he's coming in June and staying for part of July and then I'm going back to Sweden for a while when he leaves."
My mom, still playing her hand, said, "Where will he sleep?"
Now, let me explain why that's funny. She knows full well that Alex and I have a relationship and he's been here for months at a time before and always stayed at my place which is a one bedroom apartment. So, she knows full well where he'll sleep. Haha! But, there is that something in her mommy voice that always renders me back to that 16 year old girl. And my response to her was, "In my apartment..."
Thus is the relationship my sisters and I have with our mother. We are well over the age of reason and half of us have stepped into the age of no return but we can still be reduced to "dutiful" daughter by this diminutive 90 year old woman. You gotta love that!
My mom said, never looking up from her cards, "Almost two months?"
I said, "Yes, he's coming in June and staying for part of July and then I'm going back to Sweden for a while when he leaves."
My mom, still playing her hand, said, "Where will he sleep?"
Now, let me explain why that's funny. She knows full well that Alex and I have a relationship and he's been here for months at a time before and always stayed at my place which is a one bedroom apartment. So, she knows full well where he'll sleep. Haha! But, there is that something in her mommy voice that always renders me back to that 16 year old girl. And my response to her was, "In my apartment..."
Thus is the relationship my sisters and I have with our mother. We are well over the age of reason and half of us have stepped into the age of no return but we can still be reduced to "dutiful" daughter by this diminutive 90 year old woman. You gotta love that!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Booyah!
So, the work week is over for me and I'm off for two week WITH pay! How cool is that? It gets cooler. Alex is at this moment at Arlanda Airport in Stockholm getting ready to board his flight. He'll have a couple of hours to lay over in Warsaw, Poland and then onto Chicago O'Hare. From there he hops on the Wisconsin Coach Lines to Kenosha and then (drum roll please) HE'S HERE! I am so excited I feel like a kid in a candy store. I'm wrapping gifts, fighting off Arnie the attack cat and literally singing to myself. For me, the holidays have officially started and, though I have some things yet to do, I am fully in the ho ho ho spirit!
We had our office party today which took up most of the afternoon and I managed to duck out early and get some more shopping done. I spent the better part of last night filling little mitten ornament thingies with candy for my staff which surprised them all and they really appreciate it. Made me feel good to do something for them. They've worked damn hard all this year and hung in there when we all thought we would lose our minds. I interviewed someone very early this morning and she was great! It's almost a no brainer that the agency should hire her so when I return I'll have one more newbie to train.
All in all, 2007 has been a whirlwind of a year but it seems to be ending with a bang and I couldn't be happier. I plan to kick back and fully enjoy myself for the next two weeks. There will be vodka and fun and friends and family and food and all the very best things that life has to offer. I wish everyone could feel this way!
We had our office party today which took up most of the afternoon and I managed to duck out early and get some more shopping done. I spent the better part of last night filling little mitten ornament thingies with candy for my staff which surprised them all and they really appreciate it. Made me feel good to do something for them. They've worked damn hard all this year and hung in there when we all thought we would lose our minds. I interviewed someone very early this morning and she was great! It's almost a no brainer that the agency should hire her so when I return I'll have one more newbie to train.
All in all, 2007 has been a whirlwind of a year but it seems to be ending with a bang and I couldn't be happier. I plan to kick back and fully enjoy myself for the next two weeks. There will be vodka and fun and friends and family and food and all the very best things that life has to offer. I wish everyone could feel this way!
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Ten days...
I have never been a very patient person when it comes to waiting. I get tense and stressed and short tempered and, well, to be honest, bitchy. I have ten days to wait until Alex gets here. Then, I am off work, with pay, until January 5th. I've started the countdown, believe me. I find myself checking the National Weather Service at least four times per day. The weather here is unpredictable and we've gotten more snow than usual for this time of year. I love snow but it also means O'Hare shuts down or flights are delayed and the thought of that just adds to my overall tense bitchiness. Ah hell, I'm excited!
I spent part of today at my mom's house helping her put up her tree. When I was a kid we always got a real tree. It was a highlight of the season, going out in the cold, arguing about how tall of a tree we should get, tying it to the top of the car, losing it a couple of times, and then putting it up. My dad always managed to get it to lean one way or the other and would end up tying to a nail in the wall just to make sure it would stay upright through the holidays. A couple of years ago, my sister, who thinks she is Martha Stewart, convinced my mom that a fake tree was the way to go. Which is weird, since this particular sister always has a real tree. My mom agreed and another sister just gave her an old fake tree that she had. Now this tree is the artificial equivalent of that poor scrawny tree that Charlie Brown chooses. I got it out of storage today and unwrapped it. My Martha Stewart sister had trussed it up with so much twine it a bit of a mental challenge just to get the damn thing unwrapped. But we got it up even though it is leaning to the right. I kind of like that it is. It reminds me of my dad. The lights were already on it, thank god, so that was one argument we could avoid. My mom has gotten shorter over the years so I had to put the angel on the top. I've always felt sorry for the angel topper that my mom has. It's pretty enough and has lights that twinkle but to get her stay on the tree I literally have to shove the top branch up her hiney. No wonder her lights twinkle! Ha ha!
We left it at that because my mom likes to decorate it herself. She'll do some every day this week until it's finished. She'll also put out her old creche. One of my other sister's made it a long time ago in a ceramics class she once took. The manger is enormous and each king, shepherd and camel weighs a ton. It takes up a lot of space and over the years some of the paint has rubbed off the Baby Jesus and I think one of Mary's arms is glued back on. But you know what? Those are the exact reasons that I know that after my mom passes away we will all be fighting over that thing. It's the visual embodiment of a memory. Just like all those goofy hand painted ornaments we all made when we were kids, the bread dough choir I made with the funny pinched faces and paper mache dog bone ornament with the name of our long dead family dog on it. I think I know why my mom likes to decorate her lopsided tree all by herself. My mom is 90 years old now and, I think, each one of those crazy homemade beauties reminds her of all those years when we were all there together. I know the sight of her tree makes me feel that way. I think it makes us all feel that way because the first thing we will all do when we gather at her house on Christmas Eve is take some time to look at the ornaments, remember the stories and laugh.
I spent part of today at my mom's house helping her put up her tree. When I was a kid we always got a real tree. It was a highlight of the season, going out in the cold, arguing about how tall of a tree we should get, tying it to the top of the car, losing it a couple of times, and then putting it up. My dad always managed to get it to lean one way or the other and would end up tying to a nail in the wall just to make sure it would stay upright through the holidays. A couple of years ago, my sister, who thinks she is Martha Stewart, convinced my mom that a fake tree was the way to go. Which is weird, since this particular sister always has a real tree. My mom agreed and another sister just gave her an old fake tree that she had. Now this tree is the artificial equivalent of that poor scrawny tree that Charlie Brown chooses. I got it out of storage today and unwrapped it. My Martha Stewart sister had trussed it up with so much twine it a bit of a mental challenge just to get the damn thing unwrapped. But we got it up even though it is leaning to the right. I kind of like that it is. It reminds me of my dad. The lights were already on it, thank god, so that was one argument we could avoid. My mom has gotten shorter over the years so I had to put the angel on the top. I've always felt sorry for the angel topper that my mom has. It's pretty enough and has lights that twinkle but to get her stay on the tree I literally have to shove the top branch up her hiney. No wonder her lights twinkle! Ha ha!
We left it at that because my mom likes to decorate it herself. She'll do some every day this week until it's finished. She'll also put out her old creche. One of my other sister's made it a long time ago in a ceramics class she once took. The manger is enormous and each king, shepherd and camel weighs a ton. It takes up a lot of space and over the years some of the paint has rubbed off the Baby Jesus and I think one of Mary's arms is glued back on. But you know what? Those are the exact reasons that I know that after my mom passes away we will all be fighting over that thing. It's the visual embodiment of a memory. Just like all those goofy hand painted ornaments we all made when we were kids, the bread dough choir I made with the funny pinched faces and paper mache dog bone ornament with the name of our long dead family dog on it. I think I know why my mom likes to decorate her lopsided tree all by herself. My mom is 90 years old now and, I think, each one of those crazy homemade beauties reminds her of all those years when we were all there together. I know the sight of her tree makes me feel that way. I think it makes us all feel that way because the first thing we will all do when we gather at her house on Christmas Eve is take some time to look at the ornaments, remember the stories and laugh.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Here kitty, kitty!
I'm getting a cat! My sister/landlord finally came through for me and said that I could get a cat! So, tomorrow afternoon I'm going to take a trip to the local shelter and fill out an application to adopt a kitty! I'm so excited about this. I have always had a pet but I haven't had one for about two years now. I had a great rabbit named Ozzy (after Ozzy Osbourne because he did bear a remarkable resemblance) for about 13 years which, if you know anything about rabbits, is a very long time. I hope that they have a cat at the shelter that has the kind of lovable, cuddly, fun loving personality that I'm looking for. I don't want a snooty cat. I want a person cat. Okay, now I'm sounding weird...I'll stop.
It's freaking COLD here. The weather man keeps threatening us with snow and so far he's just a big fat liar liar pants on fire about that. I'm hoping for snow! What's the point of living in the mid-west if the seasons don't really change? So, for now, all we have is cold without the snow. If it has to be this cold, it might as well be pretty too!
Tonight was actually kind of fun. I went to one of my sister's homes for dinner and a deadly serious game of Canasta. My sister is the worlds best bakery chef but unfortunately tonight she made a less than appetizing dinner and bought a day old cake at the grocery store. But we had a good time and that's what really matters. My mom is the "professional" card player among us. She doesn't speak while playing and gets increasingly annoyed at those of us who do. We never play cards without a friendly wager so there was some money on the line. A whole whopping $6 which was won by my sister and brother (we played teams). It was a devastating loss for the rest of us but we will be victorious next week! It's my brother's turn to cook dinner which means its Pizza Hut night. Always a very good thing!
Weekend plans:
1. Get up and clean the kitchen...yay.
2. Go to the shelter!! Cat!!
3. Rent some movies.
4. Go home, make some home made split pea soup.
5. Make a Bloody Mary, eat soup and watch movies!
oh and...
6. Pray for snow!!
It's freaking COLD here. The weather man keeps threatening us with snow and so far he's just a big fat liar liar pants on fire about that. I'm hoping for snow! What's the point of living in the mid-west if the seasons don't really change? So, for now, all we have is cold without the snow. If it has to be this cold, it might as well be pretty too!
Tonight was actually kind of fun. I went to one of my sister's homes for dinner and a deadly serious game of Canasta. My sister is the worlds best bakery chef but unfortunately tonight she made a less than appetizing dinner and bought a day old cake at the grocery store. But we had a good time and that's what really matters. My mom is the "professional" card player among us. She doesn't speak while playing and gets increasingly annoyed at those of us who do. We never play cards without a friendly wager so there was some money on the line. A whole whopping $6 which was won by my sister and brother (we played teams). It was a devastating loss for the rest of us but we will be victorious next week! It's my brother's turn to cook dinner which means its Pizza Hut night. Always a very good thing!
Weekend plans:
1. Get up and clean the kitchen...yay.
2. Go to the shelter!! Cat!!
3. Rent some movies.
4. Go home, make some home made split pea soup.
5. Make a Bloody Mary, eat soup and watch movies!
oh and...
6. Pray for snow!!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Angels Among Us
My niece's daughter, Kennedy Jaye, was born with a rare developmental disorder called Angelman Syndrome. Angelman's is caused by the deletion or inactivation of critical genes of the 15th chromosome. Characteristically, those who have this disorder have delayed intelligence and development, seizures, an unstable jerky gait (if they ever walk), hand flapping movements and moments of frequent laughter and smiling. They are generally happy individuals.
Kennedy was born in 1997 amid the usual fuss and flurry of any expected new life. Shortly after her birth, it was apparent that something was wrong. She didn't seem to be developing normally. After many tests, she was initially misdiagnosed with cerebral palsy but it was still apparent to us that something more was wrong. Her mother went on a quest to get the best doctors and specialist to perform as many tests as they could so that we all would know what we were dealing with and how to deal with it. Eventually, a couple of these specialists agreed - it was Angelman Syndrome. It took us a while to even figure out what that was and we didn't have time to stop and feel sorry for Kennedy or ourselves. These things happen.
Kennedy herself took no time to feel sorry. She has spent the last 10 years getting into the hearts of everyone who comes in contact with her. Starting school, always a scary time for parents more so than children, was a real obstacle. She is extremely sensitive to heat and humidity and prolonged exposure to either can bring on her seizures. Not all of the schools here in Kenosha are air conditioned so there was a brief fight with the school districts in town to get her into one that was. Turned out, she ended up at the best possible school for her. The other kids in her class love her and all want to be Kennedy's special helper each day. Every parent of a special needs child worries that their child will not have friends, that they will be singled out in the classroom and never know what it means to socialize. Not so with Kennedy! Since starting school she has been invited to her classmates homes for parties and get togethers just like everyone else in the class.
Weak back and hip muscles combined with scoliosis make it very difficult for her to walk. She must have assistance at all times. To gain some strength and to learn to sit up, she started going to Equine Therapy. The gait of a horse is identical to that of a human being. Research shows that for those who have weakened back, hip or lower torso muscles can show marked improvement by riding a horse! It really is amazing but it works! In order to keep Kennedy from listing forward as she was prone to do, the therapist had her ride the horse seated backwards. Of course, she does not ride unattended. Two "helper" walk along side the gentle mount to make sure she stays put. Because she wanted to reach the horses head, riding backward forced her to sit upright which did wonders for her back and posture. Now she sits bolt upright, on horse or off. A few weeks ago, they had a horse show at the stable where she rides. She won 1st Place for Best Posture! I know that seems like a small thing, but for a kid who sat bowed over like the letter C since the time she first was able to sit, that award was awesome!
Angelman's used to be called "the laughing puppet syndrome". That's because one of the characteristics of the disorder is bouts of uncontrollable laughter to the point of tears. She does this once in a while - starts laughing in a way that makes you think she is just happy but her wide eyes and tear stained cheeks let you know that she is in distress. It's heartbreaking that the sound of a child's laughter doesn't always mean happiness. Kennedy cannot speak and so cannot tell us what is bothering her. We have to guess and when we can't guess it is the most frustrating thing in the world.
After she was born and we found out what was wrong with her, I think that silently each one of us asked how this could have happened and why. But now, there isn't a person in our family that would choose to not have this angel in our family. She's the most loving, caring, sweet child in the world. When she hugs you, you KNOW you are LOVED! When she pulls your face close to hers to give you a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek or just to coo in your ear, there is no place you'd rather be than right there in that moment with that little girl. It is the most perfect peace you can feel and it's the gift given to you by this "imperfect" child.
Kennedy was born in 1997 amid the usual fuss and flurry of any expected new life. Shortly after her birth, it was apparent that something was wrong. She didn't seem to be developing normally. After many tests, she was initially misdiagnosed with cerebral palsy but it was still apparent to us that something more was wrong. Her mother went on a quest to get the best doctors and specialist to perform as many tests as they could so that we all would know what we were dealing with and how to deal with it. Eventually, a couple of these specialists agreed - it was Angelman Syndrome. It took us a while to even figure out what that was and we didn't have time to stop and feel sorry for Kennedy or ourselves. These things happen.
Kennedy herself took no time to feel sorry. She has spent the last 10 years getting into the hearts of everyone who comes in contact with her. Starting school, always a scary time for parents more so than children, was a real obstacle. She is extremely sensitive to heat and humidity and prolonged exposure to either can bring on her seizures. Not all of the schools here in Kenosha are air conditioned so there was a brief fight with the school districts in town to get her into one that was. Turned out, she ended up at the best possible school for her. The other kids in her class love her and all want to be Kennedy's special helper each day. Every parent of a special needs child worries that their child will not have friends, that they will be singled out in the classroom and never know what it means to socialize. Not so with Kennedy! Since starting school she has been invited to her classmates homes for parties and get togethers just like everyone else in the class.
Weak back and hip muscles combined with scoliosis make it very difficult for her to walk. She must have assistance at all times. To gain some strength and to learn to sit up, she started going to Equine Therapy. The gait of a horse is identical to that of a human being. Research shows that for those who have weakened back, hip or lower torso muscles can show marked improvement by riding a horse! It really is amazing but it works! In order to keep Kennedy from listing forward as she was prone to do, the therapist had her ride the horse seated backwards. Of course, she does not ride unattended. Two "helper" walk along side the gentle mount to make sure she stays put. Because she wanted to reach the horses head, riding backward forced her to sit upright which did wonders for her back and posture. Now she sits bolt upright, on horse or off. A few weeks ago, they had a horse show at the stable where she rides. She won 1st Place for Best Posture! I know that seems like a small thing, but for a kid who sat bowed over like the letter C since the time she first was able to sit, that award was awesome!
Angelman's used to be called "the laughing puppet syndrome". That's because one of the characteristics of the disorder is bouts of uncontrollable laughter to the point of tears. She does this once in a while - starts laughing in a way that makes you think she is just happy but her wide eyes and tear stained cheeks let you know that she is in distress. It's heartbreaking that the sound of a child's laughter doesn't always mean happiness. Kennedy cannot speak and so cannot tell us what is bothering her. We have to guess and when we can't guess it is the most frustrating thing in the world.
After she was born and we found out what was wrong with her, I think that silently each one of us asked how this could have happened and why. But now, there isn't a person in our family that would choose to not have this angel in our family. She's the most loving, caring, sweet child in the world. When she hugs you, you KNOW you are LOVED! When she pulls your face close to hers to give you a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek or just to coo in your ear, there is no place you'd rather be than right there in that moment with that little girl. It is the most perfect peace you can feel and it's the gift given to you by this "imperfect" child.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
The Politics of Dancing
Let me tell you a little about the dynamics of my family. I am the youngest of six, five girls, one boy. The first thing people notice when they meet us is that we are close. We spend what may be an unhealthy amount of time together. The second thing people notice is that we are loud and opinionated. The six of us span the socio-economic cross hatch of typical Americans. We are all employed at a wide variety of jobs and our earning are hugely varied from one another. So is our politics. I have learned over the years that my views on life, love and the world are not happily welcomed in the course of a conversation. I am liberal. I believe that people should, overall, be allowed to live the life they choose as long as they are not harming anyone and I firmly believe that our government is sorely out of touch with the needs of the people. This means that in the course of a heated debate about the efficacy of our current administration, I am often the odd man out in my views. As much as I love a good debate, I find that these usually end with me being called a moron by my brother who loves to have the last word. Moron is usually the last word. Not because I have run out of good argumentative points but because it is at that point that I realize he has. I call this phenomenon the "Dance of the School Yard Bully". It's the same scenario on the playground in grade school when two kids get into a shouting match and it inevitably ends up with someone saying "yeah, well, you're stupid!" as if that personal attack has made their point completely. I have tried to argue that calling me a moron does not make his point more valid but that is just an exercise in futility. No, the best thing to do when a debate resorts to "you're a moron" is to sigh, smile and shake your head. It doesn't get your original point across but it does tend to piss off your attacker. There is some satisfaction in that!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)