More time of indecision...

These days all I have on my mind is my job or, rather, what job I might have in a month and a half. So here's what's been offered so far...

The agency is starting up a new program which is a case management program for people with severe and persistent mental illness. This is a target group I am well familiar with and a program I could supervise in my sleep. BUT...they have decided to go with someone else at the helm which both perplexes me and angers me. I was offered a made up position of middle management running a couple of small programs that pretty much have been running themselves without any management at all for the past several years. It was a poor attempt at giving me something to do. Could I do it? Sure...easily. Do I want to? NO! There is no challenge there and I would not be using my skills to their best ability. While I appreciate the gesture, it's a lame gesture.

What gets me most is that I have all of the qualifications for the other position and the experience to boot yet I am simply being overlooked without even a chance to argue my case for them allowing me to do it. And that pisses me off more than I can say. When I get angry, I cry. I've always done this and it makes me even more angry because crying seems weak and when I'm angry I don't feel weak, I feel enraged! I wish I could just let them have it but instead I well up with tears and sniffle. So lame!

I have been told by our administration that I have excellent written communication skills yet they haven't offered me anything where that might be used. They also told me that I was a strong supervisor and that they never would have taken on case management without my knowledge and gumption yet they haven't offered me anything in a case management field. Case management is what I know and love and what I want to do. I will not waste my time and talent "filling a space" that they just need filled if it is a space that will not keep me active and moving forward in my career.

So...the decision is, there is no decision. I put it all back on their table with a written proposal and listing of my qualifications. We'll see where it goes from here. We'll see....